He sighed, then paused for a moment in thought. "I now have no choice," he said in sign.
"What do you mean?"
"I must free you from the belief that I own you.Áa,you must become free of my actions and of me."
"I don't know how that's possible unless there might come a time when I could save your life. Then I would no longer be in your debt. But, this seems unlikely, doesn’t it?" she asked, using both words and signs. "And so, I suppose if you want me to marry you, then I must. If you do not wish me to marry you, however, because, as you say, you do not know if I might cause you to lose your power to help your people, then if you agree, I will return to the fort and marry Thomas. Either way, I do not believe I will be happy with my choice."
"This cannot be," he responded, feeling as though he were out of his depth in attempting to understand this woman. What she said was completely alien to him. He repeated, "You owe me nothing. And, it is my wish you should be happy, not unhappy about the choices you must make."
"I no longer see happiness as being part of my future."
He didn't respond to her right away. His viewpoint about the same incident was so different from hers. Perhaps he should tell her his own thoughts. Yes, this might ease the trouble between them.
And so, he signed, "While I understand how you feel, have you thought about the many people who come into a person's life to aid him? One does not owe one's life to these people."
She frowned. "You are right, but one's life does not necessarily depend on those people. But you...you risked your life, everything you are, to come to me and save me. And, ever since I have awakened, you have been kind to me, not even mentioning your sacrifice. I remember being in pain during the night and sleeping mostly, but I also recall awakening occasionally to hear your voice talking to me, and your hands were rubbing warmth into my body...all night. It's true, I didn't understand your words, and yet I know you were asking me to live, to breathe and to stay alive. And, so I did. But, I think I did it only for you. How can I ever repay you for what you have done and risked on my behalf? Do you understand now the debt I must bear? It is one I can never repay. And so, this is why I am telling you that if you wish me to marry you, I will."
"But, you don't want to?"
She didn't answer. Instead, she looked down and away from him.
He waited until her gaze came back to him, and he signed, "When you don't speak to me of this and do not answer my question, I think your silence is your answer. Know this: I would never take you for my woman unless you desired it. Come now, it is not so bad that I have come here to ensure you live. Let me tell you why. A Pikuni boy is trained by his father and his uncles to go to war and to defend his people. To be a good warrior and save lives brings great honor to his family. It is the duty of a man. Do you understand? You owe me nothing."
"But, I am not of your tribe. Your duty did not extend to me when you came to save me."
"Come, we have talked of this before. You showed me kindness and understanding at the trading post, though you risked your reputation to do it. It is I who was then in your debt. Now this is finished. Neither of us owe the other anything."
"I disagree. What I did required little courage and so you were never in my debt. Simply speaking to you did not include risking my life to save yours."
"This is not true. You risked your reputation. For a woman it is the same."
"It is not at all the same," she signed.
"It is to me. Try to see it my way. I believe that even if you think you owe me something for coming to your aid, to feel you must give yourself to me in marriage—and especially when you do not wish to—is not necessary or even good."
"But, did you not ask me if I would consider you as a husband?"
He frowned. "Áa, I did."
"And so, I have told you my answer. I will if you want me to."
"I should not have asked this of you. I asked the question when, perhaps, I shouldn't have. This is my problem, not yours. I have been trained all my life to think before I speak, and I did not do this. Had I better self-control, we would not now be having this conversation."
"It doesn't matter whose fault it is or whether you should have asked me or not. The point is you did ask. If you wish this, then I will leave Thomas and my family to follow you." She looked away as tears escaped her eyes to rush down her cheek.
He was stumped. Did he wish to marry this woman? Perhaps, if their lives were more alike. He did admire her and would welcome spending much time with her. If this were love—and he thought it could be—it had happened with them each one knowing little of the other. From this might spring everlasting love. But, conversely, if he did take her in marriage, their way would be filled with trouble and problems for them both...within his tribe and within hers. And, importantly, he especially did not wish to tie her to him when the thought of doing so made her cry.
How then was he to aid this beautiful woman? If onlyshecould savehislife.
Suddenly, he sat up straight. There might be a way, for he had brought with him a game that...
A little excited now, he brightly said in Blackfeet as well as signed, "You must save my life. Then you will be free of me and your decisions, once more, will be your own."
He then took a good look at her and was disconcerted to see more tears streaming down her cheeks. Also, she still stared away from him.
To get her attention, he said in English, "A way...is...there." And, when she glanced over her shoulder at him, he signed, "There is a way you might be able to save my life."
Her lips trembled as she turned toward him and signed, "I don't wish you to risk your life that I might save it."
