However, she took in a deep breath for courage as she stood firm against succumbing to her fears. She had seen there was no choice but to escape from the fort; she would not change her mind now simply because she was afraid. Besides, there were some matters so important and so dear to the heart they were worth the risk of harm: one of those was liberty and the right to live her life unencumbered. Obviously, her father thought she had no rights—not even the right to change her mind about whom she truly loved and whom she would marry.
No, she would not back down. She would not go back there. Somehow, she would make the best of it.
This decided, she couldn't help wondering where it might be safe to sleep. It was becoming obvious to her that she would be here all night...and alone.
It was worrisome, for she had no means of protection against discovery. After all, her father could easily ride here and, discovering her, could drag her back to the fort. And, then what?
Surely Thomas would not look favorably on another attempt at matrimony. No, Thomas was not the problem in this matter. It was her father.
Of course, she could hide, but, if her father did find the coulee, he would see her pony even if she weren't immediately visible. Laylah sighed deeply. It was pointless to hide, and she wouldn't do it.
Still, there was danger from other predators, and she feared her small pocket pistol might not be enough protection. But, at least her mother had packed the pistol for her.
She had never been alone on the prairie at night. For as long as she could remember, she had been protected against the troubles that often accompany adult life. Indeed, she had rarely been allowed to venture very far from the fort and, until now, this had not been a problem. But, though it was frightening to be here with no one else, a new feeling was beginning to take root within her: she felt empowered by simply coming here and being here on her own decision.
Looking outward and toward the horizon, she found she could appreciate the beauty of the night. It was cool, yes, but it was not raining nor snowing. There was also a half-moon rising up over the distant horizon, its bright beams blocking out the light of perhaps a million stars which were close by to it. Yet, as she looked up, she saw the Big Dipper well enough and wondered if Eagle Heart might ever come to learn she had escaped the fort and had returned to the place where she felt close to him.
Where was he? Was there still an invisible wall between their mind communications? And, if he continued to refuse to "hear" her, what would she do?
If he did not open himself up to her soon, it was possible she might never see him again. Because of her insistence to return to her old way of life, he probably thought she had already married Thomas. And, his own code of ethics would not permit him to interfere.
This, however, was going to make it difficult to find the man; no one knew where he was, not even his friend, Gray Falcon. Even this evening, as soon as she had settled herself into a seat on the grassy soil beneath a willow tree, she had reached out with her mind again to try to contact Eagle Heart. But, again, there was no answer.
She understood why there was no answer, for Eagle Heart was an honorable man. What he didn't know was how a week without him would change her; nor could he be aware of her acknowledgment of how dismal her life was without him. If nothing else, this past week had proved to her that her love for him was more powerful than the draw of her own culture.
She missed him. Indeed, she yearned for him more than she could ever have envisioned she would. They had touched one another spirit to spirit, soul to soul...and more. Passion had also stirred between them, and in a most elemental way, although neither of them had acted upon it, nor had either even mentioned it to the other. But, truth be told, she desired to be with this man physically. Their one kiss had proved this to her, and she ached with the need for more of the same.
As she sat beneath one of the willow trees lined up with the other trees close to the creek, she despaired. What was she to do?
She couldn't go back to the fort. But, what if Eagle Heart continued to prevent any communication between them? How could she ever let him know she'd changed her mind?
Looking forward, her vision caught onto the rushing water of the creek, which seemed to be in a hurry to go somewhere. It was a lovely stream, looking as though it were hiding secrets, because, as it dashed over the rocks and sand, it shimmered and shone like sparkling jewels beneath the starlight.
It was not a quiet stream, either. Indeed not. It gurgled and splattered as it hurried on its way. However, its babbling sound brought her a little peace of mind, and, looking outward at it, she felt the tranquility of nature seep into her soul. It was as though Nature were urging her to let go of her fears, which, in turn, allowed her to think of the future...at least for a little while.
Winter was around the corner, and she knew she couldn't stay here. She was bright enough to realize her lack of skills might cause her ruin or even her death. After all, she didn't know how to hunt in order to feed herself nor how to create a fire from friction. The only skill that might aid her was the knowledge of how to build up a fire once it was started.
She moaned. Her father had ensured she knew sign language so she could communicate with the natives on these plains, but he hadn't taught her how to survive in the wilderness if suddenly left on her own. Perhaps he had never envisioned this might ever occur in her life.
Instead, most of her education had been composed of the three R's: reading, writing and arithmetic. But, beyond that, she'd learned little else except how to become a perfect ornament on her husband's arm and, also, how to manage his household so well he would barely notice her accomplishments.
These skills—while they were definitely skills—would not do her any good on the open prairies of the Montana territory, especially with winter coming on. What would she do in the midst of a hard winter if she didn't find Eagle Heart, and soon?
She would return to St. Louis where she would stay with her grandmother. She had already determined this. It would be the only choice available to her. But, perhaps she could remain here a few days before heading out to Fort William and then on to St. Louis by way of the last steamer going south. Thank the good Lord that Fort William was not far away.
Yes, she could remain here for a little while, if only because her mother had ensured there were food and supplies aplenty, enough to allow her the leisure of staying hidden away for a few days. When her supplies ran out, however, she would leave here and trek to Fort William.
Rising up to her feet, she stepped toward the grassy spot where she had hobbled her pony. When she had arrived here earlier, she had ensured Honey Sugar was secured next to a cottonwood tree, remembering that Eagle Heart had told her the bark of this tree was a good source of winter food for a horse.
Reaching up, she untied her packets of supplies and set them on the ground. Then, she took hold of the blanket still lying upon Honey Sugar's back. When she placed it over her arm, her pony neighed, then nickered slightly.
Laylah smiled and reached up to pet her pony. "You are such a good friend," she whispered. "We will stay here tonight and tomorrow, perhaps longer. I shall, however, seek another and better shelter for us both tomorrow."
Honey Sugar sighed, as though to say she understood.
Laylah turned away and had once again taken her seat under the willow tree when she heard the thought, "Is it true? Are you back? There in our coulee?"
Laylah laughed and somehow cried at the same time. "I am here," she answered. "I have been trying to reach out to you. How did you discover I am here?"
