But he was continuing, and he signed, "As the medicine man said would happen if I did not heed his advice, after I killed the first innocent man, Sun, the Creator, no longer spoke to me of healing. After all, I well knew the consequences of my actions and thus gave Him no choice but to give the power and knowledge of healing to another man greater than I. Indeed, just as I have not spoken to Him since I left the medicine path, He has not talked to me.
"As a result," he continued, "I lost my power to be of any help to others. The medicine I have always had since a babe remains with me, it is true, but from the first day when I began to thirst for the blood of my enemies, the Creator has been as silent to me as I have been to Him. Recently, however, I spoke to Him again after many years of ignoring Him. I thanked Him for bringing you into my life. But, He did not respond to me. I didn't, however, expect an answer."
Sharon didn't say a word. Indeed, she was at a loss for what she might say.
Silence filled their tiny lodge until Strikes Fast broke the void and asked with sign, "Do you see now why I will forgive you your promise to me if you wish to leave me? I have become a person who has lost Sun's favor. Perhaps if you remain with me, this might also be your fate, and this I do not wish for you."
Having been brought up in a Godly manner, Sharon sat silently for several minutes as she sought to recall the many teachings Pastor James had passed along to her. However, the only wise saying she could remember at present was simply, "No mere man is perfect. But, there are men who seek to free people of their burdens, and then there are those who desire to burden others and live off the bounties of what others have come by fairly. By this alone, one can know if they be friends or enemies."
No sooner had she recalled this than she recognized the strength of this man's character. Indeed, Strikes Fast was weighed down because he had at one time sought to free people of illness and perhaps of even spiritual matters, even though he had deserted this path. And, he certainly didn't live off of the labor of others; he made his own way in life.
In English, she said, "I think I begin to understand," and she watched as he looked away from her. "But"—she tapped him on the shoulder and continued in sign—"I have no wish to abandon you and I have no fear of God making your fate my own. God is good, He is just and He knows my heart. Do I really seem to be so unsure of myself that I would abandon you simply because of your past? As I said, you know you did wrong, and this is important. So hear my words, my husband: I will not desert you, nor will I throw you away, as you say. I am your wife, and I am here to stay. I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are stuck with me."
He smiled slightly, but he didn't speak, and because he was looking down, she didn't see the tear in his eye until it fell onto his chest.
"Now, my husband, I wish to thank you for having the courage to tell me of this. Truly, I am sorry to learn of your loss, and I give you all the sympathy within my heart for what has happened to you because of it."
He simply nodded, not looking at her.
"Is there more you wish to tell me?"
He shook his head.
Sharon sighed, wishing her husband could forget the hopelessness in his past and the loss he had sustained because of it. But, she knew he would never forget. What had been done to his family and what he had done because of it was now, and forever, a part of him.
She might have cried, so disheartening was it, but she knew she dared not. Instead, she changed the subject and said, "I find I am hungry. Do you think the ribs you are roasting over the fire are ready to be eaten?"
When he glanced up at her, he asked in English, "You…certain?"
"Of course, I'm certain. Do you think I am without fault? I have yet to tell you my own acts, one of them weighing heavily upon me. And, my darling husband, you may decide you do not wish to remain married to me because of it."
"It will not happen," he signed at once. "I already know what deed it is you speak of."
"Yes, you have already told me you can easily see what is in a person's mind. Yet, I feel I must tell you myself. Just as you had to find the courage to tell me of your past, I must now do the same."
"I do not require this of you."
"I know," she gestured in sign. "But, I must."
He nodded and then signed, "So it will be."
****
"I…I…" She paused and looked away from him. "I…I… This is hard to do, isn't it?"
Strikes Fast smiled, but said nothing. "Éeh, yes," he said finally in Crow, then switched to sign and continued. "Speaking openly to another of one's misdeeds and opening one's heart to another, where it could easily be trampled, is very difficult to do. I will try to help you by telling you this again: what you did before you and I became known to one another matters not to me."
"Thank you," she said in English, and silently he awaited her words, although he already knew her secret.
"I…I… I had marital relations with my former fiancé before we were properly married."
"Éeh," he said in Crow, glancing up at her. Then, in sign, he said, "I know."
"But, my husband, there is something about it you do not know. And, it is not good what happened, but I didn't know at the time what would come to be; I promise I didn't."
He nodded.
"But…" she continued in sign, "well, I came to learn that because of what I did with my former fiancé, I could bring shame to your entire family."
