With one hand, he signed, "They told me I had not killed enough to avenge their honor. They think I need to do more, to kill more."
"And," she signed, "what did you say back to them?"
"I told them to go away. I said that I have killed enough and I wish to kill no more. My hope is to return to the favor of the Creator."
"Good," she said. "And, did they speak back to you when you told them this?"
"Yes," he answered in sign. "They were angry, and it was my mother's spirit who said I had not killed enough and to not listen to you nor to the Pikuni medicine men."
Daasé Isée nodded, became silent and looked away from him, causing him to watch her closely.
He frowned. Would she try to make little of what he had seen? What he had heard?
She might. After all, Strikes Fast had come to learn of the white man's disbelief in the world of spirits. In truth, he still recalled his astonishment upon discovering the white traders and trappers did not put faith in much beyond what they could hear, see or touch.
Would she try to convince him these spirits were not real?
No, he answered his own question. It was not her way. Besides, he had already told her of the spirits that haunted him and she had accepted his words as true.
Then she asked a question, one he thought was very strange.
She asked in sign, "You are certain these are your relatives?"
He merely nodded. "They are," he returned in sign. "These are my family members, and they are the same as those who haunted me five snows ago and are also those who urged me to go to war—to kill or to be killed."
"And, you have no reason to doubt this? They are, in truth, your former family?"
"I do not doubt it," he signed, but then he asked, "Why do you ask me this?"
"Because," she said in English, then continued in sign, "they do not seem to care for you as those who are close to you should. And, if they are truly your family members, they should show their fondness for you by worrying about you, about whether you live or die. And, they should also be concerned for your happiness. Doesn't it seem odd to you that they come here now when we have found such contentment with each other?"
Strikes Fast set his lips together and frowned. Then he signed, "I fear I do not understand completely what you are telling me. They were slayed and killed by the Pikuni. It is only right for them to ask me to avenge them."
"Perhaps," his wife answered. "Yet, they do not act like a real family ought. Shouldn't they have left you alone after you had killed enough people to avenge them? And, shouldn't they be glad of you finding happiness? They loved you, didn't they?"
He nodded.
"Then why, when you have finally found love and happiness, aren't they showing you gladness and joy? If it were me and I beheld you experiencing happiness again, I would be joyous about it. Shouldn't they be doing the same?"
He didn't answer. Instead he frowned at her and signed, "Perhaps because you are white, you do not understand the Indian forces at work in our tribes. When one's relatives are killed, it is up to the men in the family to avenge their deaths."
"I know this," she said. "Yet, did you not say you had taken more than enough vengeance? That you had killed even more of the Pikuni than had killed your loved ones?"
He shot his chin into the air and signed, "I did."
"Then, why is it not over? Why are they asking you to kill more? Especially since it has bothered you to kill so many? Do you think they are not fully aware of what it did to you? That you almost lost yourself in doing what you did?"
He didn't answer. Indeed, he had no answer.
"I say this to you, my husband: why would they ask this of you if they know it affected you in a bad way?"
He didn't speak. Instead, he continued to frown at her as though he were angry with her and not the ghosts. But, he wasn't upset with her at all. He simply wanted her to understand.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to him: were these spirits of his former family trying to drive him away from his wife? And, if so, why?
But, she was continuing to sign, and she said, "By going to war and killing as many people as you did, you fulfilled your duty to your family. It is over. It is time to fulfill the purpose of your life, and I do not believe for a moment that your purpose in life is to kill as many people as you can."
"And yet, it is my mother demanding I go back on the warpath."
