A million questions are raging inside my mind, but the time for them will come later. For now, we need to clear the cabin and get Evangeline inside safely. There’s a reason the WildLands are uninhabited. This forest is full of Arcane magic—beasts and creatures with unruly power and strength, far worse than anything the cities have ever seen.
As bad as our lives were in Sommael, the WildLands were that much worse. It was nothing but survival and living in a constant state of fight. There was no rest. No relief. Only staying alert and ready—to livethrough one day just do it all over again the next. It wasn’t a life worth living. And that’s what pushed us to find Requiesse, to chance exposing ourselves to a new city in an attempt to seek asylum there.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up as we push into the cabin, memories of our time here flooding my mind. I swallow hard, turning slowly as I take it all in. Zeke sets Evangeline down on the sofa, motioning for me to drop the bags. I do as he instructs and am shocked when he opens one to reveal an assortment of weapons and ammunition tucked safely inside.
He must notice my surprise, because he lifts his finger to his lips as a reminder to remain quiet until we clear the house. He hands me a gun before turning to Evageline and motioning for her to stay put. But I’m almost certain she doesn’t notice—her eyes glazed over, vacant and distant as she stares off into the distance. A tinge of pain runs through me as I take in the sight of her.
It reminds me of the day we found her. So hurt and broken. Completely lost in a world she knew nothing about. And it makes me want her that much more. I clamp down, hardening my jaw as I turn away from her to walk my half of the cabin. I don’t need to be thinking like that. Not now. Not when there’s the possibility of something hurting her. I can’t afford the distraction.
I let my guard down like that last night, and now look where we are.
So instead I push through the cabin, gun raised and ready as I clear the far bedroom and bathroom, checking to make sure the windows are locked and covered as I go.
I pause as I exit the main bathroom, eyes zeroing in on the bed. Everything looks just as we left it, down to the tattered patchwork quilt on the mattress. So many nights I spent curled up in that bed as Zeke watched over me, clinging to my sanity as I worked out whatever the fuck Sommael’s Alpha had forced into my system.
This was where he protected me. Where he saved me. Where he poured his heart out to me on days he thought I’d finally tired myself out enough to fall asleep. Those moments were the first real glimpse I’d gotten of his heart. The first time he kissed me—the first time we fucked. . .
“All clear?” Zeke’s head pops into the room, eyes alert as he scans the area.
“Yup.” I nearly jump out of my skin at his sudden appearance, but I manage to keep my voice short and even. I turn away to hide the gleam in my eyes from the tears threatening to spill as I clear my throat, covering the noise with a cough. I roll my shoulders and turn back towards the living room, maneuvering past him and refusing to meet his gaze.
Evangeline is right where we left her and I stop just in front of her, dropping to my knees as I run my hands over her cold skin. I try to look into her eyes, but I can’t seem to get her attention. It’s as if I’m not even here in front of her. Igrab a moth-eaten blanket off the back of the sofa and wrap it around her shoulders, guiding her back till she’s curled into a ball on the sofa.
Then I spin on Zeke.
“What the fuck did you do?” My voice is stern, clipped. But I make sure not to raise it, so as to not startle Evangeline.
“What do you mean?” Zeke asks, truly confused by the question. As if he has no idea what took place back at the clubhouse. As if this is any regular day for us.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Zeke.” I cut a glance down at Evangeline before motioning for him to join me in the kitchen to the right. I curl my hands into fists as I lean against the peninsula connecting the two rooms and stare intently into his eyes. “I know you know what’s going on. You had bags ready, Ezekiel.Guns.You’re going to tell me you just happened to have those ready at a moment's notice? That you didn’t orchestrate this as some sort of bullshit punishment?”
Zeke’s jaw feathers before he leans in, lowering his voice to match mine. “Perhaps I didn’t trust Aamon as much as you did, Sterling. Perhaps I’ve had bags ready for us since we joined the Blood Order in case something like this happened.”
I hold his gaze for several painful moments before shaking my head. “No. Maybe you did, but this is different. Youknewwhat Aamon was doing. You were ready for this.” I lift my hand to point at him. “But what I can’t figure out is whydamn her with us? Why bring her along when you’ve done nothing but try and convince me you don’t want her?”
“I don’t,” he grits out. I scoff, throwing my hands up in the air and turning away to pace around the kitchen. I’m so tired of this game, of him refusing to admit to the feelings I’m sure live inside him.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. I knew if Aamon demanded Evangeline leave that you’d go with her. And I wasn’t about to let you—” He pauses, the briefest of hesitation in his words. “I knew you’d need me here to help.”
I stop my pacing, folding my arms over my chest. “Need you?” I challenge. “From the implications of last night, you’re more than ready to give me up. Let me go and be with myHigh Quarter whore.” His eyes narrow on me at the words. “So what’s changed now? Why not take advantage of this and let us go? Perfect excuse to be rid of the both of us, is it not?”
Zeke slams his fist down on the counter, so hard I jump. My eyes shoot to Evangeline, sure the action will have startled her, too. But she's still lying in the same spot, unmoving.
“Dammit, Sterling. Why are you making this so difficult? Just . . . you told me last night that you envied my strength, that you wanted to play protector, as I had for you. So do me a favor and do your damn job. Protect her.” He sidesteps me, pointing back to Evangeline on thesofa, before picking up the gun he set against the counter and heading towards the door. “And let me do mine.”
Gone.
Aamon and Quinn are gone. Or I guess, I’m the one that’s gone. I’m the one that left. Every bone in my body wanted to riot, wanted to slam my fists on Zeke’s back until he turned around and took me home.
But I couldn’t.
The bloodbond wouldn’t let me.
And so I went. Against my will. As my heart shattered into a million pieces.
I don’t even know where we are. Can’t get myself to focus on anything long enough to understand what’s going on around me.
