“But you . . .”
I scrunch up my face, not wanting to offend.
“Say it,” Ryker says.
“You’re into casual, no-strings stuff. And Liam . . . he’s been in relationships. Serious ones that have lasted years.”
“Only when you were in them too,” Ryker replies. Then adds, “And yeah, I have a lot of casual sex, but we both cope with unrequited love in different ways.”
“I do love you,” I tell them, and I’m so thankful I can’t see their faces and we’re twenty miles apart, because even though I do mean it, the words come out awkward and mumbled.
“Unrequited lust, then,” Ryker concedes.
I have no reply for that. I’d not thought about them sexually before, although I found Ryker’s sex life intriguing and thought Liam keeping his private lifeprivateshowcased his protective side. Myself in relation to them that way had never crossed mymind. But two nights ago, wounded and angry I’d ended up getting aroused at their bodies rubbing against mine.
It still makes me go shivery when I think about it.
They’re huge, alpha-type men, and I’m painfully ordinary.
“Freddie?” Ryker says. “You okay?”
I nod before remembering they can’t see me, then blurt out, “Yes.”
It’s breathless, too breathless for Ryker apparently, who shushes me and breaths loudly and slowly for me to mimic. I do, because the alternative is admitting I can’t think back on what happened over the course of those two nights without my blood rushing south.
“You good again?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I tell him. “I’m good.”
“Did . . . did you like it when we touched you?” Ryker asks.
I’m sure I covered this question earlier. Ryker just wants to hear me say it again. Weirdly, I want to tell him. Again and again. They’re my best friends after all; they’re the only two people in the world I’d tell all my secrets to.
“Yes,” I admit shakily. “Both times were amazing.” I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for shouting out that name. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
“It’s forgiven,” Ryker replies bristly, then he slows his voice to a drawl. “Would you be interested in us touching you again?”
I slip the hand on my chest down my body until it hits the top of my jeans. “Maybe.” I ease out a breath. “I . . . what is it . . . what’s . . .” I trail off, battling for control of my tongue. It’s suddenly too big for my mouth and I can’t ask what I want to.
“What is what?” Ryker asks.
I savage my tongue with my teeth for a few seconds, before releasing it to ask, “What’s the goal, like . . . the target?” I’ve butchered the question completely. I can’t make things muchworse, but I can at least clarify what the hell I’m on about. “What do you want to do to me?”
I’ve ended up making it sleazy, like a bad line from porn. They must be cringing on the other end, staring at each other while twitching their eyebrows, a silent conversation of“This guy? Are we sure we want this guy?”
They can’t possibly, and I wait for the call to cut out.
“Do you want the PG-thirteen version?” Ryker chuckles.
“Huh?”
“We want to fuck you,” Liam growls.
I stare at the lights above me for too long, and when I dart my gaze away, green splodges follow. They want tofuckme. My hand jumped of its own accord from the top of my jeans to my erection inside them.
“Christ, Liam,” Ryker hisses.
Liam snaps back, “He asked.”
