He chuckles and reaches his hand out. “Give me your phone.”
I watch as he puts his number in and texts himself from my phone.
“Just text me whenever you want anything. I’ll take care of you.”
He hands me my phone, and then we make our way back out into the party. I fall easily back into the rhythm of the music and the movement of bodies, still feeling like I’m floating. I don’t know if two minutes or two hours pass by. I feel too good to have any concept of time right now. That is, until I feel a hand grab me aggressively, and I look over to see who the hand rudely belongs to. I see Lani, and I can see her mouth moving, but I can’t hear any words. I don’t think I can hear anything at all, actually, or maybe I’ve just tuned it all out; I don’t know.
I shake my head, trying to focus back on her. “Huh?” I shout.
“What did you take, Lydia?”
She looks worried…and a little mad.
I give her a smile, trying to reassure her. “I’m good, Lani! Relax.”
That answer doesn’t seem like it helped. She looks more irritated now. She starts to drag me away from the crowd of people, and I look back, giving…um…At…? Atlas! That’s it—I give Atlas an apologetic look. He waves me off, mouthing ‘it’s fine’.
Lani pulls me down onto a couch with her, and then she puts my head in her hands, forcing my wandering attention to focus on her.
“What. Did. You. Take?”
I can’t help but laugh alittle. Geez, I wish she could feel this right now. She wouldn’t be so high-strung if she did.
“It’s just Molly, Lan.”
The shock in her eyes tells me she suspected I took something, but the confirmation is still surprising to her.
“Have you taken Molly before? Or anything else?”
I close my eyes and press my lips together like I’m thinking deeply.
“Nope…I have not,” I answer her.
“Come on. We’re getting out of here.”
She goes to stand up, taking my arm again, and I jerk it away.
“What? No! I want to stay. I’m having a good time!”
“I amnotletting you stay here like this.”
I sigh, not really wanting to fight with her and ruin my good mood. So I let her lift me up and walk me back to our dorm. I don’t have to be at a party to still ride this high.
When we get inside our dorm, I see that Simone is already asleep for the night. She looks so peaceful and sweet. So innocent and happy. So…not fucked up like me. I pray nothing ever changes that.
Hell, what’s a prayer going to do, though? No one’s ever answered any of mine before.
I let Lani guide me over to my bed, and she helps slip off my shoes before getting me under the covers. She sits down on the side of the bed, staring at me as she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Are you mad at me, Lani?” I ask when I see the look on her face.
She forces a small smile before answering. “No…I’m just worried. I don’t want to see you do anything you end up regretting.”
Too late for that.
“I’m okay. I promise. I just wanted to have some fun and not have to be so in my head for one night.”
She nods like she understands, but I don’t know if she really does. I don’t know if anyone does.
