“Whoa,” Simone says, catching me just before I fall. “You okay? How much did you drink? You don’t look good.”
“I don’t know.” It comes out slurred. “But…I’m fine.”
Lani’s watching me closely,tooclosely. She walks over and lifts my chin, like she’s trying to look into my soul.I think it’s too dark in there for her to see anything, though.Her eyes narrow, and my stomach drops.
“Let’s go outside,” she says. Serious.
They each take an arm, guiding me out onto the porch. I drop down on the steps, and Lani crouches in front of me, holding my face in both hands.
“Your pupils are fucking huge, Lyd…Fuck. Are you kidding me right now?”
I try to pull away, but she holds firm.
“What did you take?”
I flick my eyes toward Simone and back to Lani, a silent plea for her not to do thishere.
“Fuck that,” Lani says. “What are you on?”
Simone frowns. “What are you talking about? She just drank too much.”
“No,” Lani says flatly. “She’s high.”
My stomach drops even more.
Fuck, Lani, you always know how to ruin a high, don’t you?
“What?” Simone’s face pulls in confusion. “Did someone spike her drink? We were all drinking together—”
“No one spiked her drink. Shetooksomething, Simone,” Lani tells her, eyes never leaving mine. “She’s done drugs before…orstilldoes them, apparently. I thought she had stopped. But I guess not.”
Simone shakes her head. “No…no, she doesn’t do drugs—”
“She does…and obviouslyjustdid.” She looks down at her wrist as if there’s a watch there. “I don’t know, in the last ten minutes or so that she wasn’t with us.”
Simone stares at me like she’s seeing me for the first time. “What is she talking about? When did you—how did you? Why didn’t I know?”
“Simone…I—,” I start, but Lani cuts in.
“I found her doing them a couple of months back. Twice. Once, I thought it was just party shit. The other, she was in our dorm, snorting something. Begged menot to tell you. Said she’d stop.” Her eyes narrow. “Didyou stop?”
I just stare at her.
She lets out this disbelieving laugh. “You never fucking stopped, did you?”
I shake my head.
Simone turns my face toward her. “Are you serious? And you never told me?”
“I…I hate making you always worry about me. And I’m…I’m okay—”
“This isn’t okay!” she snaps.
“I’m fine…” I tell them flatly, barely holding my eyes open now.
“You’re obviously not fine! I can’t believe this. After everything…after all the people you’ve watched in your life do the same thing…go down the same path—”
Heat rises up the back of my neck at her words. I push to stand, nearly falling, and shove their hands away. “Fuck you…Fuck both of you.”
