He stands up, putting his phone in his pocket, and then bends down to tie his shoe. When he stands up and smiles at me, I can’t help but forget anything but the way he’s looking at me. He kisses me, and it feels like everything is okay. It wasn’t as big of a deal as I was making it in my head.
* * *
When we meet in the city at the restaurant, Tyler and Simone both greet us with a smile. They both tell me happy birthday, and Simone hugs me. When she looks me over, she asks me why I’m not wearing the dress I picked out at the mall, that it looked so good on me. I told her that when I got home and tried it on again, it just wasn’t comfortable, and I didn’t feel that great in it. She doesn’t push it anymore, and we just head inside to eat.
The dinner was full of laughter and good conversation. Tyler and Eli always get along really well, and Simone and I are basically sisters at this point, so there’s never a dull moment when we’re together.
After we eat and walk back outside, Tyler asks if we all want to go catch a movie, or go bowling, or do anything while we still have time left in the night.
I look up at Eli and then back at them. “We…actually have plans for the rest of the night.” I try not to smile too widely and give away what those plans actually are.
They just tell us that’s okay, and we’ll all get back up together soon. Tyler and Eli dap each other up, and Simone and I hug. I tell her I’ll text her in the morning before going in our separate directions.
When Eli pulls up at his house, I see that his parents are out for the night still, and it all suddenly feels really real. I mean, it feels like this is what I’m supposed to do. This is the next step in our relationship. It feels right, like I know he’ll take care of me and make sure I’m okay. But it’s still a little scary.
Once he pulls me into his room, the fear turns into excitement. Eli reaches over, turning his Bluetooth speaker on and playing some music from his phone. My nerves start to go haywire in anticipation when he takes my hand and pulls me closer to him. I melt into his touch, and he slowly starts to kiss a trail down the side of my neck. His touches are gentle and cautious, like he’s still letting me be in control while also guiding me. Nothing else seems to matter in this moment. It’s just us.
I love him, and he loves me, and I want this with him…only with him.
11
Lydia
JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL
There’s no reason we should be forced to get up this early.
The sun wasn’t even up when my alarm went off the first time, and I feel like I got zero sleep. My stomach twists with that dreadful feeling I always get when I have to go back to school. It’s my junior year, and all I can think about is how close I’m getting to finally graduating and never having to come back to this place again.
I dread the first day of school every year. Going a whole three months without having to deal with those kids makes me want to crawl back into bed and pretend to still be in my safe summer bubble. But I can only hit snooze so many times before Sarah will come up to check on me, making sure I get up.
At least I have Eli this year.
I think we soaked up every second we could together this summer. If I wasn’t with Simone, I was with Eli. If Eli wasn’t with John, he was with me…and most of the time we were all together. Sadly, I didn’t get to see Katie and Harper as much this summer, but we all texted constantly. I’m excited to see them more at school again.
I drag myself out of bed after my alarm goes off for the tenth time, and a FaceTime call comes through from Simone as soon as my feet hit the floor.
“Good morning, sunshine,”she says cheerfully.
I force my eyes open to look at her way-too-happy face. “It’s not normal to be this happy when the sun isn’t even fully up.”
“I feel like your energy level is extra high this morning, Lydia. What are you doing differently?”
“What gave it away?” I ask sarcastically.
She laughs.“Okay, so what are you wearing for the first day of junior year?”
I roll my eyes. “Literally whatever I pull out of this closet. I might even close my eyes and let the universe decide.”
Simone gasps in horror.“How do you not have something planned?”
“Because Simone…and let me say this in the simplest of terms. I. Do. Not. Care.”
“Ugh, are you always this gloomy? Wait—don’t answer that. I know when you’re not gloomy,”she says, tilting her head and raising a brow.
“Please,” I say, flatly, “enlighten me.”
She pauses for dramatic effect. “When Eli is inside of you—”
