There’s nothing to be sad about, though. I’m leaving behind the pain, the hurt, the regrets, the grief. I don’t want to bring any of it with me.
After a quick stop for dinner, we pull into the hotel parking lot. Simone and I carry our small travel bags to the room. Her parents are right down the hall from us in their room, and Sarah, Mark, and Huxley across from them. We both collapse onto the beds, laughing and groaning at the same time.
“Road trips sound way better in theory,” Simone sighs dramatically.
“Agreed,” I say, stretching my sore muscles. “But hey, almost there. We’ll be in Texas tomorrow.”
Simone sits up abruptly, grinning. “I still can’t believe it. Us—at college. Lydia, we’re actually doing this! This is crazy! We’ve dreamed about this for how long now?”
“Waytoo long.”
In the morning, we’re back on the road early with fresh energy and excitement filling the car. The hours slip by quickly with laughter and conversations about what campus life will be like, along with some juicy stories from Simone’s mom retelling her college glory days at UNCC. I hate thinking about that place. I try to shut out the last memories I have there. I’m trying to rewrite a lot of the memories I have lately. I don’t want them to affect my life moving forward.
Finally, late in the afternoon, we cross into Texas. I sit up straighter, heart beating faster, eyes taking in everything—the welcome signs, the city skyline, the bustling streets passing by.
When we eventually approach the university, a familiar anxiety begins to creep in. My chest tightens a little, wondering if my past will somehow catch up to me here, too. I just want a fresh start. I don’t want anything to ruin this. But as we park and start unloading our bags, I look around. Students walk by, chatting and laughing, too absorbed in their own worlds to pay us any attention. No one looks twice at us. The fear of anyone recognizing me or knowing my stupid, tragic story makes me feel silly all of a sudden.
The campus feels full of new possibilities, and I start to finally let myself be truly excited for all of this.
This place is new, untouched by all the things I’ve been running from.
As we walk to our dorm, Simone talks my head off beside me, her parents and Sarah and Mark trailing behind us. Everyone is carrying as many bags as they can hold.
When we step into the dorm, I pause. The room is small but…perfect. The cramped three-bed dorm that looks more like a blank canvas, ready to be filled with new memories.
“You okay?” Simone asks softly, stepping up beside me.
I look at her, unable to hide the happy, exhausted tears that want to spill over. “Yeah, just…it feels good, you know? Like I’ve waited so long for this moment, and now that it’s here, it doesn’t feel like it could possibly be real.”
Simone sets her bags down and turns to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “This is a really special moment. Let it soak in. Memorize how you’re feeling. Let yourself be excited. You deserve this. You deserve to experience the freedom and happiness of being here.”
Simone’s mom walks up behind us as her dad throws the bags they have onto the beds and wraps us both up in a huge group hug.
“Ugh, gross.” Simone teases. As if she doesn’t live for her parents’ affection. They’re the kind of parents I want to be one day.
* * *
We finally unload the last of our bags, filling the room to the brim with our stuff. Sarah and Mark have already said their goodbyes, needing to get Huxley back on the road, leaving us to unpack. I’m stacking a few of my books on the shelf attached to my bed, and Simone’s parents are helping her organize something when the door swings open, a soft, bubbly voice filling the air.
“Hey!” a girl calls out cheerfully.
Simone and I both spin around, smiling at the sudden burst of energy. Standing in the doorway is a girl with long, wavy, pale pink hair, beautiful, glowing skin, the most striking features—soft but sharp at the same time—that make her look a little edgy, and an aura that must make everyone she meets instantly want to flock to her. She just has thatthingabout her. Same thing that Simone has. That thing that makes it impossible for you not to like them right away. That thing I’ve always wished I had.
She’s beautiful, though. Filipino descent, if I had to take a guess, maybe mixed with something else. She’s only said one word, but I’m already obsessed with her…whoever she is.
“Are you guys my roommates?” she asks, eyes sparkling with excitement.
Typical dorms here are only doubles, but with overcrowding, they contacted us during the summer and asked us to take in another roommate, and we said why not? The more the merrier.
“Room 213?” Simone asks.
The girl looks down at her paper and then back up at us with a smile. “Yup!”
“Then yes, we are! I’mSimone, and this is Lydia,” Simone says, pointing back at me.
“Lelani,” she introduces herself, stepping forward to hug us both. “But everyone just calls me Lani.”
She steps back, studying us briefly before smiling brightly. “Wait, so you guys know each other already?”
