Demos was intent on standing, but it didn’t mean I had to, so I moved to the couch. It was a bright white, like all the rest of the furniture. The lack of dye could have looked cheap, but it was absolutely luxurious. Unfortunately, in this conversation, I still felt like I was sitting bare on a pile of nettles.
My fingers itched for something to tinker with. I hadn’t had a good project in ages, instead spending every moment I could translating the grimoire. I didn’t even have a book to read to pass the time, though the only one I truly wanted was safely locked away in Damerel.
“Do you think the southern king would mind if I perused his library?” I asked Demos.
He frowned. “Raphael wants you to stay here.”
I arched a brow at him in my best imitation of Thea. “I must’ve missed that order.”
He arched a brow right back, and regrettably he’d probably had more practice with Thea. “What about your fledgling bond?”
“Raphael’s probably at his destination by now. If it hurts, I’ll turn right back. Besides, he thinks it’s eased.” Of course, he said that it would be fine assuming I’d be in this room. If the library was in the opposite direction he had planned to be, it could turn out badly.
The general scoffed. “I can imagine why.”
I stared at Demos, confused.
“I can smell his blood on you again,” he clarified.
I scratched my neck self-consciously. “I tried to wash it off.”
Another derisive scoff. “It’s hardly that simple. After everything—he’s willingly giving you his blood.”
I squirmed. “I didn’t mean to poison him.”
“Your blood was enchanted entirely by accident, then?” Demos retorted.
“Well, no. But I explained it before—I’d realized I couldn’t go through with it. That should count for something.”
Now Demos did look me right in the eye. “The same way the fact that I spent months training you should have counted for something before you stabbed us in the back. Thea and Raphael may be willing to look past the obvious, but I won’t willingly blind myself to a threat. You betrayed us.”
Anger rose in me, fast and righteous.I’d had reasons, good ones at the time. But I forced myself to inhale and exhale, the way Raphael had taught me. The anger was so comforting, but I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be angry at Demos, and I didn’t want him to be angry at me, even if that was unfair.
I’m the necromancer, after all. Their enemy.
I’d felt something like pride the first time I realized what I was. A hungry, angry pride that I might have a place with the witches after all. And no clue what the cost would be.
I couldn’t tell Demos I wasn’t a threat. I was—a big one. “I wouldn’t make the same choices again. I will regret the way I went about things forever.”
Demos’s gaze slid off me. “Regret is cheap.”
Maybe he had a point. But I didn’t have any better currency to barter with. “Have you heard from Thea?” I asked, changing subject.
Demos was obviously reluctant to answer, his grip on his arms tightening.
“She’s my friend, Demos. I’m not going to do anything to harm her.” That was an unequivocal truth I could give. “I just wanted to know if she’s sent any word.”
“I sent word when we’d arrived. She’ll likely write back in a few days.”
“What’s she doing?” Demos tensed, and I held back a sigh. “I don’t need specifics. I’m only wondering what she’s up to when she’s not at Damerel. And when she might return.”
If she would be gone for months, as could happen for diplomats, I might not see her again when the fledgling bond broke and I fled. Even if she was able to get something in the northern kingdom to help me control my powers, I wasn’t sure I could wait around in Damerel for it. Not when things with Raphael were so intense. If I didn’t leave him, I’d continue to be drawn to him, and that was far too dangerous.
He relaxed—only a fraction. “Thea works as a diplomat, as well as Raphael’s adviser. The past months of her in Damerel, uninterrupted, have been the exception rather than the rule.”
“Because when I think of Thea, I think of diplomacy,” I said dryly.
Demos’s lips twitched up at the corner before he sharply tugged them back into a scowl.
