Celine opens her mouth—to argue? She never accepts defeat. It’s not in her nature, but if she would pause for even a second, maybe she could find it in herself to grant me the mercy I never afforded her in the monster realm.
I won’t beg for it, but I know how this story ends.
I am no one. There’s no happily ever after for people like me. We don’t exist. We don’t find love. And the tattered remains of my self-preservation warn me that having her—even once—would tear me to pieces.
She doesn’t love me, and I can’t bear another cheap imitation. Reality won’t be ignored, and Celine already has everything she needs waiting for her inside.
“I-I don’t?—”
“Please stop,” I beg. “I may be a living lie, but that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize truth when it stares me in the face.”
Brow furrowed; her chest heaves. She wants to argue and tell me how wrong I am. Except this time, she can’t, and we both know it.
“Is this it?” she asks. “We can’t even be friends?”
I shake my head. “There’s no world where you and I are friends. We were destined to be enemies?—”
“Bullshit,” she snarls. “We make our own choices. Fuck destiny. Fuck the gods—if they’re even real to begin with—and fuck magic. If I say you’re my friend, then you are.”
“Celine . . .”
“No.” Her hand curls around the back of my neck, and she drops her head, bringing our faces so close together that I couldcount each of her eyelashes if I wanted. “Listen to me, Riven, and if you hear nothing else, hear this: I know exactly who my fucking enemies are, and it’s been a long time since I counted you among them.”
I should prove her wrong. Toss her into the hedge and leave, ripping the memory of her lips from my brain by replacing her touch with that of a dozen others.
It’s the best thing for both of us, but I’m not strong enough to do it.
“Why are you out here, anyway?” I ask. “Are you planning to kill someone?”
She shakes her head. “Joshua mentioned another gateway location during brunch. It’s not nearby, but I was going to go check it out.”
“And come right back, of course, as soon as you determined whether it was rumor or fact.” She winces, and I roll my eyes. “There’s no point lying to me. I already know you’re going to leave them behind when you go back for him.”
“I can’t put them at risk,” she hisses.
“I know.”
“Losing them... I can’t breathe past the fear of it.”
“Darling, Iknow.” I give in to the urge to cup her cheek.
Of all the cursed beings in this universe, I saw firsthand what facing their loss did to her. Celine was prepared to die four times over to prevent it. They’re her only weakness, and she’s painfully aware. So, she’ll go in alone—even if she knows she’ll be hurt—because she’d rather betray them than lose them. I wish to the gods I didn’t understand her.
“I’ll go with you,” I volunteer, cursing myself as her eyes widen.
“That’s not what I meant?—”
“I’m aware.” I force a smile. “You don’t want to see me dead either. I appreciate that, but I have no intention of dying. I’ll gowith you to the gateway, and you can blame our sudden departure on me if you want. I’ll get my fresh start, and you’ll have an easy out.”
“I don’t know about this.” Her eyes dart to my lips. “I was going to fly, but my wings can’t carry us both that far.”
“Then, we’ll steal a car and add one more adventure to our story.”
She frowns. “That sounds final.”
I shrug, not bothering to argue. Celine is stubborn enough to think she can change my mind, and I’m selfish enough to let her try. Who knows? If I’m lucky, her hold on me will ease. I may be able to leave her behind without looking over my shoulder or wondering if things could be different if I were someone else. Anyone else. Anyone at all.
Please, I’ve never been lucky.The only person I’m lying to now is myself. Because I already know what’s about to happen.We’ll go on this trip, and I’ll pay for it dearly. By the time Celine walks away from me, she’ll do it with my whole heart clenched in her fist, and there won’t be a damn thing I can do to stop her.
