* * *
The commercial ringwas loud as hell, and Emily had never been so grateful for noise in her life.
She'd slipped out through the door while Raaevik was talking to another guard, something about patrol handovers or schedules or something.Waiting, she'd caught the moment his attention shifted and made a break for it.
Down the corridor.Into the lift.Gone.
He'd find her, she knew he would, but she'd bought herself a few minutes first.
Pushing into the crowd, she let herself get jostled.Back in plain joggers and a sweatshirt provided by the LMP, she was invisible… or the nearest thing to it anyway.Station workers shoved past without a second glance.Traders haggled in languages that sounded like clicking stones.Nobody bowed.Nobody called her "Your Grace."She was just another body taking up space.
Thank.Fuck.
Ducking into a café near the edge of the promenade, she breathed a sigh of relief.The place was all chrome and molded plastic, with harsh lighting that buzzed.The coffee smelled like burned rubber.She ordered a cup anyway.
The server, a multi-armed robot, shoved a cup across the counter.Perfect.
Taking the cup, she found a table in the back corner out of the way.No less than two minutes later, a shadow fell over her table.She jerked her head up, then closed her eyes in relief at the sight of Lucy.
"You look like you're contemplating murder," the other woman said, sliding into the seat opposite."Or suicide.The coffee here is bad enough to inspire either."
Emily's shoulders sagged."Shit, you about gave me a heart attack!I thought you were Raaevik."
Grinning, Lucy leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table."Rough day at the office?"
Emily barked a short laugh."Something like that.Are you stalking me?"
"I'd recognize that hunted look anywhere," Lucy said."Besides, I saw the broadcast.The diplomatic thing.You looked...poise personified.Very regal.The camera loves you, Em."
"I looked like a fucking prop," she grumbled as she wrapped her hands around the cup, seeking the heat."I felt like a liar."
The other woman's expression softened.She glanced around the café, checking the nearby tables with a casual look before turning back to Emily.
"It's a lot.I know it’s a lot,” she said gently."For anyone.I mean… being plucked out of your life, dropped into this?It's really not fair, Em.And I can’t imagine what you’re going through.Keep it together, though.Don't let them see you crack.These assholes feed on weakness."
"I'm not cracking," she lied."I'm just...tired."
"Tired of performing?"Lucy guessed, her expression sympathetic as she reached across the table to cover Emily’s hand with her own.
Emily flinched.It was too close to the truth.Waytoo close to the truth."Tired of being someone I'm not.Tired of everyone deciding my life for me."
She took a sip of the coffee and grimaced.Yeah, burnt rubber.
"I feel like I'm disappearing.Like Emily Evans died the minute I got on that shuttle, and all that's left is the 'Emperor's matched mate'."She snorted."I'm not a person, I'm just a womb to provide the heir."
"You're more than that," Lucy said fiercely."I saw you with that cargo worker and his fruit cart, remember?When everyone else just stood there, you jumped in to help.That's who you are, Em.Fancy dress or not."
"Am I?"Emily looked down at her hands.They were trembling."I don't feel like me.I feel like a fraud.Daaynal is...he's trying.He's so kind, it makes my teeth ache.And I just smile and let him think I'm adjusting."
"Kindness doesn't make a cage any less of a cage," Lucy pointed out."My uncle used to keep birds.Beautiful, tropical things.Best seed, huge aviaries, talked to them every day.They were still prisoners."
Emily looked up."I don't want to be a bird."
"Then don't be."
"I don't have a choice."
"There's always a choice," Lucy said."Sometimes you just have to look for the door."
