Their dresses were worn out and too small for them. They needed new clothes.
He closed his eyes and thought of how much that would cost. Christmas wasn’t far away, and Christmas was expensive, so he needed to save money. New clothes for the girls would have to wait until he found a better job.
Shawn sighed, rubbing his face. Yeah. That was what he needed to focus on. No more distractions. The kids depended on him.
The couch dipped as the girls suddenly climbed onto it.
“You’re sad,” Bee said.
“We don’t like when you’re sad,” Emily said.
Shawn smiled brightly and wrapped his arms around them, pulling them close. They were warm and smelled of soap and sweets. Of innocence.
“No,” he said. “Of course I’m not sad.”
“When is Mr. Rutledge coming back?” Emily askedonce again, her blue eyes wide and glistening with tears. “He promised me a puppy! With a white star on its forehead.”
Bee sucked on her thumb. “Yeah, when is he coming back?”
Shawn’s heart clenched. At that moment, he hated Derek Rutledge more than anything. The girls had no one but Shawn; of course they’d become attached to Derek, since he had been practically living with them for the last couple of weeks.
Shawn smiled, but it felt like a grimace. “It doesn’t look like he’s coming back, sweetheart.”
Emily’s brows furrowed. “Why?”
How was he supposed to answer that?
Shawn averted his gaze. “Because he has his own family. And it seems his dad asked him to marry.” At least that was the only explanation he could think of. “He’s going to start a family now.”
“Why?” Emily said.
Bee’s lower lip trembled. “Why?”
Shawn looked between them and didn’t know what to say.
“I don’t know, baby,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Bee’s temple and pulling Emily closer. “I don’t know.”
Chapter 22
Shawn woke up in the middle of the night, shivering.
He burrowed deeper under the covers. The room was cold and damp, as usual, but it was harder to ignore it after weeks of sharing body heat with another person. He missed being warm.
Shawn sighed, turned onto his stomach and hugged his pillow, angry with himself. This was getting out of hand. Enough. Fuck Rutledge and fuck his stupid warm body. Fuck him.
But no matter what he told himself, the ache in his stomach was still there. The hunger. The need that went beyond sex. He wanted Rutledge’s body next to him, big and warm. He even wanted to hear his scathing remarks, feel his breath against his skin—
Shawn tensed and lifted his head. He could have sworn he heard voices coming from the living room. But the girls couldn’t possibly be awake, right?
Frowning, Shawn climbed out of bed, shivering violently as the cold air hit his skin, and padded towardsthe door. There was light in the living room, but it meant nothing: he had left the lamp on, because the twins were scared of the dark.
Shawn opened the door quietly and froze.
Rutledge was sitting on the floor beside the girls’ bed, one of the twins in his lap.
Shawn’s heart started to thud in his chest.
He was back.
