“Eoin, lad, do ye mind if I join ye?”
He smiled and waved me to the floor with his chubby little hand. As I sat next to him, he pushed a few rocks in my direction.
“Da found them.”
“Oh, yer da found the rocks, did he? Did ye help him?”
He nodded, but said nothing else. He was unusually quiet.
“Eoin, did yer da tell ye that I must leave here for awhile?”
He kept his head down, fumbling with the rocks on the floor. His voice was soft and sad when he spoke.
“Will ye leave like Grand Da?”
A lump swelled in my throat, and I hurried to lift Eoin from the floor and into my lap before every emotion I was holding inside broke loose in front of him.
“No, lad. I’ll never leave like Grand Da. I’ll only be away for a time, and then ye will see me. I shall visit ye here. Mayhap ye can come and visit me at my new castle.”
Simply knowing he would see me again seemed to relax him, and he lay his little head against my chest as I held him. With every person in the castle dealing with grief over my father’s death and Elspeth dealing with the exhaustion of her pregnancy, little Eoin had been left to fend for himself more than he was accustomed.
When he began to snore, I carefully stood and carried him to his bed. Kissing his brow, I whispered a spell of protection in his ear and bid him farewell.
* * *
Elspeth was even more upset by my decision than Alasdair. Never one to mince words, Elspeth rained a stream of curse words down on me that I wouldn’t have thought her capable of.
“Ye are a selfish wee bitch, Morna. I doona wish to see ye. I doona wish to say goodbye to ye. Ye can burn in hell for all I care.”
Undeterred by her rage, I moved across the room and climbed onto the bed next to her where she sat resting.
“Ye needn’t be angry with me. Ye should be pleased that I’m leaving. Ye know Alasdair worries too much for me. Ye and Eoin should be his priority.”
She screamed at me between sobs. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she dabbed at her nose with a cloth.
“Do ye think Alasdair is the only one in this damned castle who cares for ye? What will Eoin do? His heart has already been broken once this week. And what of the new babe? Do ye have no desire to know it, to love it as ye have loved Eoin? And what of me, Morna? I know I am not yer closest friend, but ye know ye are mine. I doona care what Jerry has done to ye. ’Tis selfish of ye to do this, and ’tis pure lunacy for ye to marry a man like Henry MacNeal.”
So what if Henry could be unkind? I could be unkind, too. So what if he hid something? I was hiding something from him, as well. Everyone seemed so much more concerned about my fiancé than I was.
“Elspeth, I canna stay here. Ye wouldna stay here if ye were me. I know ye wouldna. Ye would want yer own life, with yer own family. Is it so wrong for me to desire to have just what ye do?”
She collapsed into a hysterical fit of tears. As I moved in to comfort her, she turned her swollen eyes up toward me.
“O’course ’tisn’t wrong. ’Tis only that I will miss ye so much I doona know if I can bear it. I wish ye would be here for the birth, Morna. I’ve not said a word to Alasdair, but I’m frightened. So verra frightened.”
I pulled back to look at her more fully. Her confession alarmed me.
“What do ye mean? Do ye feel as if something is wrong with the babe?”
She continued to cry as she spoke, and I pulled her in close to stroke her hair.
“No, the babe feels strong, but I feel weak. I doona have the same strength I had when carrying Eoin.”
I tried to rationalize her worry.
“Ye are older now. ’Tis no wonder that ye doona feel as strong. All will be well, I’m sure of it.”
Elspeth pulled away from me and turned to grasp my hand. She squeezed my fingers so tightly I couldn’t help but devote every ounce of my attention to listening to her.
