“You heard me. You always had your fun, and Kayla always ended up in pain.”
Kayla’s heart pounded in her ears. Mack looked really angry. Like she wanted to jump over the table and knock Skye out. Kayla had never seen her this way. Well, she had once. The day she came to Kayla’s place after Skye had left to find Kayla barely able to move, unwashed for days as she wallowed in her grief. The thought of that day threatened to overwhelm her.
“Mack, please. It’s okay,” Kayla said.
Skye didn’t seem to hear her. She leaned forward, as aggressive as Kayla had ever seen her. “She’d not made of glass, McKensie. Even though that’s how you’ve always treated her.”
“I don’t treat her like she’s made of glass. I treat her like she has chronic pain from a devastating injury that needs to be managed. But that isn’t fun enough for you, is it, Skye?”
“Believe it or not, I care about Kayla.”
“You have a damn funny way of showing it.”
“Oh, you think you’re better for Kayla than I am?”
Mack said, “Damn right I am.”
“Well, I don’t know if she agrees.”
Amy’s tinkling bell of a voice cut into the fight, laced with unexpected lightness. “I think Kayla agrees. After all, she’s marrying Mack in a few days. Isn’t that right, Kayla?”
Kayla had been so riveted by the argument that she barely registered Amy’s words. Skye immediately sat back, chastened and clearly a little embarrassed. Mack looked far more flustered and wouldn’t meet Kayla’s eye. Of course, she knew they weren’t really getting married. Why had she argued so aggressively that she was better for Kayla than Skye? Had she finally bought into the Plan of Seduction? Her vehemence was shocking and more than a little flattering. Kayla slid a hand onto Mack’s thigh. It stiffened and then relaxed under her touch.
Kayla said, “Absolutely. Mack is the one for me.”
She hoped to hear Skye scoff or argue, but she had clearly taken a moment to calm down. What she hadn’t expected was for Mack to meet her eyes with a look that was hard to read. She knew Mack loved her. Of course she did. They’d been best friends since before they had their driver’s licenses. But there was a depth of affection in those pale green irises that made it hard for Kayla to draw a full breath. Then she smiled—gentle and sheepish and oh so loving—and Kayla found herself wishing for a moment that they really were getting married in a few days. No one loved her like Mack. No one ever could. Their love went deeper than romantic attachment. Whoever Mack did marry would be one hell of a lucky woman.
Amy said, “You see? Everything is as it should be.”
Chapter Sixteen
After three days, Kaylahad gotten used to waking up wrapped tightly in the cocoon of Mack’s arms. This time, she freely admitted to herself that she loved the feeling of being held. More specifically, she loved the feeling of being held by Mack. While she had always known Mack gave the best hugs, she had never fully appreciated the utter bliss of being held by her. It was most likely the lingering effects of yesterday’s kiss. Not to mention the way Mack had defended her at dinner the previous night.
Kayla had never experienced the thrill of being fought over by a pair of butches. She had to admit it was a wonderfully empowering feeling. Although it was clear Skye was more interested in defending herself, Mack’s reaction certainly felt like a dose of marking her territory. And she’d thought she couldn’t pull off the fake dating thing. Look how easily she’d slipped into the role of protective girlfriend. And the fact that shehad no problems calling Skye out right to her face was downright sexy.
Skye had been wrong in her accusation, of course. Mack never treated Kayla like she was delicate or breakable. In fact, without Mack’s steady encouragement, she wouldn’t work out nearly as hard as she did now that she didn’t have a paycheck dependent upon it. She was just more careful and creative about finding ways to help strengthen Kayla without causing her further injury. It was something Kayla herself wasn’t great at—Dr. Hell on Heels said it was an artifact of her denial over the extent of her injury. When she first understood how severe the injury was, she fell into a deep depression. It hadn’t just been about the pain and limitations. She’d lost her lifelong dream along with all that cartilage and tendon. She had been all set to give up on physical therapy, but Mack wouldn’t let her. She went with her to sessions and adjusted their runs and hikes to build her muscle and stamina back without taking her too far.
Mack had been wrong, too, though. Despite the angry words, Kayla knew Skye hadn’t been trying to hurt her. Skye just thought the best way for her to recover from her injury was to act like it never happened. After all, Skye was an athlete and that had worked for her in the past. It worked for Kayla, too, for little things. But those little things were what led to the big thing and this injury wasn’t like anything either of them had ever experienced. Plus, Kayla had been head-over-heels in love. When Skye wanted to do something wild, Kayla wanted to do it with her. Life with Skye had been full of exhilarating highs, which always led to deeper lows. Skye didn’t understand limits, and that was one of the things Kayla had fallen in love with. It had been what made their relationship passionate and exciting. Skye lived her life out loud in a way no one Kayla had ever met. It was intoxicating to be in her orbit, and Kayla craved being caught up again.
Every day was a party with Skye, and Kayla tended to forget her own limits when they were together. Most days that was fine, but sometimes she paid for it. She didn’t want to be in pain for the rest of her life. She didn’t want to have to think about the way she ran or even walked. She didn’t want her injury to be her whole life, and most of the time with Skye, it wasn’t. Until, inevitably, it was.
So, the truth was they were both right. More than that, they were the two best things in Kayla’s life. They both loved her fiercely. They both wanted the best for her, they just had two very different ideas of what that was. They had both earned her trust and love. No matter what, she couldn’t lose either of them.
She really liked Amy—even more so after last night. She didn’t want to hurt her, but she couldn’t let her marry Skye. If they got married, Kayla would lose her for the second time. She couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t think she could survive it.
Kayla had already lost too much. Too many versions of herself. Too many futures that would never be. If she lost Skye for good—if she lost the future of them married, raising a brood of tiny, obnoxious, competitive weirdos with Skye’s eyes and her stubbornness—Kayla wouldn’t survive. It would break her more completely than any injury or career loss ever could.
Kayla closed her eyes to shut off the thoughts of what a future like that would be like. She squeezed so hard that her head ached and tears sprang up in the corners of her eyes. She clenched her teeth until they felt like they would split down the center. She would not let those thoughts in. She would not lose. Not again.
Just when she thought the intrusive thoughts would break through, Mack groaned gently and rolled onto her back. Kayla was suddenly freezing cold, and the loss of touch when she was so raw made a hollow open in the pit of her stomach. Should she roll over and cuddle Mack to get the warmth back? It would be impossible to pretend this cuddling was an unconsciousmovement. It would mean she’d have to accept and maybe—God forbid—admit to Mack that she enjoyed their nighttime embraces.
“What the hell,” she mumbled to herself. “I’m cold.”
Even as she rolled over and cuddled into Mack’s side, she knew it had nothing to do with body temperature. Cuddling with Mack felt good. It felt right. She needed that right now, with the fear creeping in around the edges.
As she rested her head on Mack’s shoulder, she knew she’d made the right call. Her cheek settled against the solidity of Mack’s muscular shoulder, stretching her skin pleasantly. Mack’s long hair tickled her nose, but it still held the slightest hint of mint shampoo and warm cotton. The intrusive thoughts didn’t disappear, and her fear wasn’t completely gone, but when her head rose and fell ever so slightly with each of Mack’s deep breaths, they seemed manageable. As her own breathing slowed, she closed her eyes. Just for a second. Just to focus her attention on her body and the way it relaxed into this moment.
When their alarm blared through the room a long time later, Kayla suddenly jerked awake. How had she managed to fall back to sleep after coming that close to a panic attack?
