Deputies are looking at us, but I just offer them polite smiles. I have no doubt they’ve heard about me spending time on the club’s land. Everyone has heard about it at this point.
After I knock on Dad’s door, his gruff voice comes through the door, “Enter.”
I glance at Titus to find one corner of his mouth tipping up. Yeah, that welcome feels familiar.
The moment the door opens, Dad glances up and stills. He doesn’t freeze completely, but he stops. Just for a second.
Then he exhales, the sound almost filled with relief. “Please, come in,” he offers, his voice much gentler as he motions toward the chairs on the other side of his desk.
We sit and the silence lands around us for a beat. I can barely stand it.
I clear my throat and Titus reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze. For strength. For encouragement.
“First, I want to make it clear that this is my life. I’m going to live the way I want to live with the man that I love.” I watch Dad closely, waiting for him to explode. His hand flexes, but that’s the only outward reaction. After taking a deep breath, I forge ahead, “I’m a good person and love this community. I’ve never been reckless or wild,” I remind him.
Dad chuckles softly and nods with a slight smile on his lips. “You’ve always been a good kid, Ezra.”
“That’s the thing, Dad,” I lean forward slightly, “I’m not a kid anymore.”
He sighs and rests back in his chair. “No,” there’s something almost sad in his voice, “you’re not.”
“Titus has asked me to marry him.” I hold my hand up and wiggle my fingers slightly. The ring catches the light in a way that makes my heart soar and I don’t even attempt to hide the smile on my face. “He also gave me his property cut. I didn’t wear it today out of respect for you and this conversation, but I will be wearing it going forward.”
Dad nods once, his gaze turning thoughtful as he looks at me. The sigh he lets out is full of weariness and exhaustion.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what Jackal said to me at the hospital,” he starts.
Titus’ grip tightens on my hand. I told him about what went down in the waiting room. It’s not like there was any reason to keep it from him and secrets are no one’s friend.
“He was right.” I can tell those words cost him a little; not much, but a little. “I don’t want to wake up one day and realizeI’ve missed years of my daughter’s life.” He swallows hard and looks at me with sadness in his eyes. “I certainly don’t want to miss out on the lives of my grandchildren.”
My breath hitches and tears fill my eyes. I blink them away, unwilling to let them have this moment when it’s mine.
“Dad,” my voice breaks slightly, “I just don’t understand why your hatred of the club runs so deep. It’s more than just the badge,” I soften my voice, hoping he doesn’t take my words as an attack.
I know how proud he is. I know how much his job means to him and how much he values the law he upholds. Even if he is an asshole about it all sometimes.
“There was a girl,” Dad’s voice has a wistful quality to it which I don’t hear often. His eyes find mine and he sighs, “It was before I met your mother.”
He never talks about her and their messy divorce. She had me and then left. There was a time when I thought maybe it was because of me, that she just didn’t want to be a mother. Over the years I’ve realized it probably had more to do with his job and my dad’s dedication to it.
I don’t know her and I don’t blame her.
We all walk our paths in life and it’s not my place to judge her when I have no idea what her side of the story is. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss her. Well, I don’t even think I miss her, but I miss the idea of her, and what she would have been to me.
I suck in a breath and wait. He’s not done yet. I’m here to listen and, hopefully, understand.
“She was so full of life, and I loved her very much.” Something twists on his face, but it’s fleeting. “We weren’t together verylong; it’s not like we spent years together or anything. Today when I think about it, I realize we were far too young for anything permanent, but back then I thought it was soulmate shit.”
Titus huffs out a small laugh and Dad’s mouth tips up. Their truce is holding. For now. Maybe it can even improve.
“After graduation, we went our separate ways. It wasn’t overly dramatic or anything, our lives just drifted apart. I was devastated, but we remained friendly. I figured there would be a time when our paths would cross again. I became a deputy and focused on work and the town. Then I found out she joined the club on her back,” he spits out the words.
“Oh no,” I breathe out knowing full well what he means.
She became a club whore. I wince because that has got to sting.
“I tried to step in a few times and get her to leave with me. She wouldn’t hear of it. Every time I saw her, she looked less and less like the girl I knew and more like a hollowed-out ghost.”
