When I get to the part of the story that took place in the chapel, I hesitate.
“What?” Grace demands. “What’s that look on your face?”
I can feel my cheeks heating and I duck, letting my hair fall forward to cover my blush. I’m grateful I didn’t put my hair in my usual braid or ponytail today.
“Elsie June,” Olivia scolds.“Whathappened next?”
“We had sex in the chapel,” I blurt out.
The stunned silence from all five of them is louder than anything they could have said.
“When you sayinthe chapel –” Olivia begins, but Grace talks over her.
“Holy fuck, I didn’t know you had it in you.” She rises from her seat and does a slow clap. I bury my face in my hands, wondering where one might find a hole in the ground to disappear into.
“Was it on the altar?” Ty demands. Frankly, he sounds far too excited by the idea.
“No,” I tell him, my voice sounding more defensive than I mean it to. “It was on one of the pews, if you must know.”
“Oh, we must,” Noah says, nudging my shoulder with his.
“That was most definitelynotin the schedule of events for the evening,” Olivia muses.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Cam says, holding up a hand to silence everyone. “How did you go from fucking in a church pew to breaking up?”
I sigh and push my plate away. “Because Declan wanted totalk,” I say, like that’s explanation enough. “He could sense something was off and wouldn’t let me out of there without discussing it first.”
“God forbid a man be emotionally intelligent enough to want to discuss your feelings,” Ty drawls. “Please, tell me more about his other faults.”
If the fortune cookies were within grabbing distance, I’d toss one at his perfectly styled hair. Since they’re out of reach, I stick my tongue out at him instead. I have to admit, my friends’ presence here is helping. Despite the heavy conversation and the nerves still roiling in my gut, this is the least miserable I’ve felt in days.
“I told him about Nathan.”
Olivia sucks in a surprised breath while Grace nods encouragingly. “But that’s a good thing, right?” she asks. “I mean, that’s an important conversation to have.”
“Pause,” Noah interjects. “Who is Nathan?”
Olivia gives the guys a quick run-down on my relationship and eventual breakup with Nathan, and how long it took me to recover from it, thanks to everyone in our small town berating me with their questions and sympathies.
“I tried to explain to Declan that the thought of going through another public relationship and potential breakup fills me with this… I don’t know, dread, I guess? This full-body panic that I don’t know how to fight. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, and Ireallydon’t want to become a public spectacle again.”
“People are always going to talk,” Grace says. “It’s an unfortunate side effect of living in a small town. You only care so much because you want everyone to like you, and you’re terrified of the slightest misstep.”
She’s right, but the words still sting.
“My need to make everyone around me happy is sometimes all-consuming,” I admit, and though it’s something I’m sure they’re all aware of, the words still feel like a confession. I can breathe a little bit easier for having said them. “It’s vast and overwhelming,” I continue, on a roll now, “and sometimes I don’t know the right path forward, because all I can think about is the people I might be disappointing along the way. It’s why I almost said yes to Nathan, and why I almost kept working for my dad forever instead of taking the leap and opening my shop.”
“Oh, honey,” Ty says softly. “That’s no way to live. You have to putyoufirst. And Declan, if he’s as important to you as I suspect.”
“I don’t know how to stop caring so much about what other people think,” I whisper. “But I want to.”
“You said you explained all of this to Declan?” Noah asks.
“I did. And I said some not-so-nice things as well,” I admit.
“Like what?” Cam asks.
“I threw the fact that he hasn’t turned down the New York job or agreed to be Sean’s partner back in his face. I accused him of getting ready to run, like he always does.”
