“Fucking ouch,” Grace mutters.
“I know,” I groan. “But he called me out on it immediately.”
“What do you mean?” Olivia asks.
“He told me I was only lashing out because I was scared. He said I have more faith in him than that, and he knows it.” The memory almost makes me smile. Because he was right. “He also told me he loves me,” I add, my voice nearly a whisper.
I’m hit with a barrage of “What?!” and “No fucking way” and “Holy shit.”
“Iknewthat man was in love with you,” Noah cries. “God, it’s been obvious since I started working here.”
“Since even before that,” Grace insists. “I’ve never seen him look at Elsie with anything other than heart eyes.”
“You’ve really been holding out on us,” Olivia accuses. “Did you say it back?”
“My guess would be no, if they’re broken up right now,” Cam points out.
I groan and lay my forehead on the cool tabletop. “I didn’t say it back.”
“What happened?” Ty prods.
I explain to them how Declan told me he would back off and give me space to figure things out. How he told me that when I’m ready to be with him, he’ll be there. But the ball is in my court now, and it’s been crickets from him ever since, as promised.
“Do you love him?” Olivia asks gently.
“She loves him,” Noah says confidently. When I glare at him, he jabs his chopstick in my direction. “Don’t give me that look. You’re forgetting who’s had a front-row seat to this entire thing over the last couple months. I knew you’d fallen for him even before you did.”
My cheeks heat, but I don’t argue with him.
“So, what are you going to do about it?” Grace demands.
“She’s going to tell him,” Cam says, as if it’s obvious. As if it’s thatsimple.
“I need to work through some things first,” I tell them. “It’s not fair to Declan for me to panic every time he tries to hold my hand or, god forbid, kiss me in public. It’s not enough just towantto be with him. I need to really choose him, and I need my actions to show that.”
“Are you ready for that?” Noah asks, his voice low and laced with concern.
“I don’t know,” I admit. Iwantto be ready. I want to choose Declan without a single care in the world about what anyone else thinks or has to say about it. But anxiety is a fickle bitch, and I don’t know how to turn that part of my brain off.
Ty reaches over to grab my hand on the tabletop. “Honey, I say this with all the love in my heart: what you need is a good therapist,” he says gently.
His suggestion gives me pause. I’ve never seen a therapist before, but it’s something I’ve considered over the years. Especially after things fell apart with Nathan and the anxiety started to keep me up at night, or keep me from running simple errands around town. I love this town with my whole heart, but there was a period where I didn’t know how to exist in it. Olivia and Grace were my anchors when waters got stormy, but I’m sure I could have benefited from therapy.
“You might be onto something with that idea,” I agree.
“Okay, this is a good starting point,” Grace says, nodding as she scoops more beef and broccoli onto her plate.
“What you need is a plan,” Olivia announces, pulling a notebook and pen from her purse. She flips through until she finds an empty page and clicks her pen open, then stares at me expectantly.
“Before you start mapping out an entire master plan for my life, can we please take this literally anywhere else?” I beg. I’ve used up every ounce of self-control I possess to keep from looking next door. I canfeelthe weight of Declan’s eyes on our group, and the wrongness of not having him seated around the table with us is making me physically ill.
“Let’s take this planning sesh back to your place,” Ty suggests.
“Done,” I agree.
“Oh, I love a good planning sesh,” Olivia sighs.
“We’ve got the queen of planning, enough leftovers to get us through the next couple hours, and I know you still have a few unopened bottles of rosé from last time we had dinner there,” Grace says to me. She points at Ty with her chopsticks. “You go get us some coffee. This could take a while.” She turns to Noah. “You help Ty, and grab some desserts while you’re at it.” She turns to Cam, who’s gazing adoringly at his wife. “You – quit making moon eyes at her and make us a playlist. Upbeat tunes only; this is not the time for wallowing.”
