He stood, taking my hands to pull me to my feet as well. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly for several long moments. I sighed into him, memorizing the comfort and smell of him. Cedar and smoke, warmth and musk. My Graham. The man I’d loved my entire life. Now the man whoused tolove me, who would become only a memory of first love. I hugged him back until he let go and stepped away.
“I’ll let ye get some rest. We’ll say farewell in the morning.”
He left the room and I fell onto my bed, wincing at the movement. My wound still ached, though it was healing. I pretended my tears were due to the hole in my stomach, though it went much deeper than that. I held my midsection and cried for a long time, only one question running through my mind.
How long did it take for a wound to fully heal?
Chapter 35
Ilayunmovinginmybed with eyes empty of tears and a heart completely uncertain how to feel. Too many conversations in one day. Each person telling me things that were difficult to hear and impossible to accept. As I waded through a stream of my confused thoughts, the currents brought me new epiphanies. I tried to make sense of them, because they seemed contradictory.
Before I could organize them into full sentences, my father knocked on my bedroom door. His appearance would be the last of the evening, it seemed. He brought in a cot and blanket he had borrowed from the mission. After setting it up, he laid down and let out a long sigh. I watched him close his eyes and thought he was essentially closing the door on any conversation between us, so I settled into my bed again and tried to settle my mind.
“I heard about everything you’ve gone through,” my father said. His tone was flat, but not uncaring. I could hear a question in it, as if he wanted to know how I felt about it all.
“Oh? Who told you?”
“I asked Whisper and he told me what he knew, then I had a chat with your maid.” He didn’t sound angry any longer.
“Patrice,” I corrected. It didn’t entirely surprise me. If anyone could make him see reason, it would be her.
“She explained what happened on theKatarina. Then how you found Graham, how difficult it’s been for you to help him recover his memories and to see him in this new life. Apparently he has feelings for that woman I saw earlier with Mrs. Bowers?”
He couldn’t see me, but I nodded. “Yes, it seems he’s decided to stay here with her.”
“Aye, I spoke to him as well.”
“He told you that?” I was surprised that he’d confessed his feelings to my father. I would’ve assumed he’d simply tell him he felt needed here.
“I needed a good reason to allow him out of your betrothal.”
“I thought you had already given up on him after the letter.” He had seemed resigned to it before I left. It was one of the reasons I ran away.
“He was going to receive a strongly worded letter with my thoughts on the matter. I would never let a man humiliate my daughter without giving him a piece of my mind.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me,” I said honestly.
“Despite what you believe, Elsie, I do love you and want the best for you.” He sighed again, and I heard him move around on his cot. “How are you feeling?”
I would have responded, “Fine, my wound is healing well,” but I knew what he meant. I closed my eyes. “There is not one part of me that isn’t confused.”
“It would be strange if that were not the case, I suppose.”
He was reacting like I’d always hoped he would, with understanding and patience, as if he were on my side.
“You will need to get over all of this and forget what happened here.” That sounded more like the father I knew. But he expounded,and his caring was evident again. “Edleroy will heal your heart, that is what family is for.”
I hoped he was right. Perhaps Edleroy truly was what I needed to overcome these trials and regain control over my emotions. And yet, even as I wondered when my heart would stop hurting, I recalled how different I’d felt since embarking on this adventure. While I missed home, I knew deep within me that I would miss St. Kitts as well.
We both eventually fell asleep, even though I wished the night would drag on to avoid the inevitable morning of our departure.
Patrice sniffed as she helped me get ready for the final time. I told her it was unnecessary; I had become adept at dressing myself and had been doing so most days. If she helped me, it was only because of my wound. But today, she wanted to help for old times’ sake. She could barely stop her tears from falling, however, as she buttoned and tied my dress.
I turned around when she had finished and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I will miss you every second,” I said.
“Aye, me too.” She pulled back and wiped her face. “Dinnae get in too much trouble at home. I won’t be there to help ye out of it.”
I laughed. “I shall try.”
