He doesn’t ask about what because I think he knows. “We’re going to be okay, you know? If you keep trying to compare our relationship to everyone else’s, you’re never going to be satisfied. We don’t need a plan for the summer to enjoy ourselves. If you want to go to Italy, walk around museums, go to New York…. Anything you want. We can do it all. Or we can stay here and do nothing. As long as I’m with you, close to you, I’ll be okay.We’llbe okay.”
My heartbeat starts to settle again, and he starts to relax off me, his grip slowly loosening so I can breathe again. He twists us around, so my chest is to his and he crushes my face to his, kissing me on the forehead. How does he manage to make everything better? He just gets me. Sometimes I don’t even have to speak, and he knows exactly what’s wrong. I can give him a look and he’ll justknow.
When I start to breathe normally again, I open my mouth multiple times without saying what I want to say. There’s no way we’re going to move forward if I don’t. I sigh, trying to muster up all the courage I need, and I step back from him. He still holds onto my shoulders, studying me curiously in the light rain.
Starting off strong, I say, “Don’t ever quote me on this.” He tilts his head to the side. “I feel like the luckiest girl when I’m with you. You listen to me. You make me feel smart. You take care of me even when I don’t want you to. I’ve been so used to doing that on my own, only looking out for myself and pushing everything else away, and you took that part of me and cared for it so effortlessly. You never complain. You wait for me when I tell you I’m not ready. You justgetme. And I get you. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. And I know that word cringes people out, but that’s exactly what we are: partners. Partners in crime, too.”
My brain barely gets to process the fact that I said those words, let alone that his lips are covering mine. He grabs onto my face, holding me tight, kissing me so hard that I almost go dizzy. He’s kissing me so hard that it’s the force of a million kisses, telling me everything I never knew I needed to hear.
I’m proud of you and I’ve got your back,is all I can hear as he kisses the living daylights out of me. When we’re still kissing and the rain has stopped, I can’t tell if it’s a tear coming from his cheek that I can taste or if it’s the rain. I pull back from him.
“Hey,” I say softly, brushing the tear that has fallen from his eye. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m happy about what you just said,” he replies, doing his best and not to sound upset. He closes his eyes, tilting his head up to the sky. “Fuck, Scarlett. Don’t say shit like that.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you!”
“No need to shout, Ev,” I murmur, laughing a little, but his face remains serious. My heartbeat roars in my ears, and I have to steady myself against his arms, making sure I don’t slip or melt into a puddle at his feet. “You love me?”
“Of course, I do! Has that not been obvious? I think I’ve been so unhealthily in love with you my whole life, Scarlett. Since we were kids, there has been no one that I’ve loved as much as I love you. I love doing stupid things with you, I love it when you tell me to relax, I love it when you hold my hand when you don’t even realise you’re doing it. No one has ever made my chest burn just by looking at them. No one who has made me want to do better, be better, for them. I don’t think about anything as much as I think about you, about us, about being with you. I would count down the minutes in class for a second to argue with you. I’d play your stupid games if it meant that I had your attention for just two seconds. I’d lay my soul bare for you, Scarlett. I’d let you pick me apart. I’d let you do absolutely anything to me. Because you’re…” His voice wobbles. “You’reeverythingto me.”
“Why is loving me unhealthy?” I tease, tilting my head. The severity of what he said hasn’t hit me yet. I don’t know why that part is the only thing I’m caught up on.
“Because it’s addicting. Even when you push me away, I still want more of you. All of you. All of the time,” he says, his tone serious and deadly, thick with emotion.
“I want you too.”
“Yeah?”
His smile almost makes me want to cry. He has the sweetest lined dimples that spread across his cheekbones when he smiles too hard. Sometimes he does it when he’s being sarcastic or when he’s trying to piss me off, but he’s smiling like that now. Just for me.
My brain is refusing to process the words that just came out of his mouth. I’m still feeling dizzy from that kiss and now this is making me feel even more lightheaded. Evan Branson loves me. He doesn’t just like holding hands with me or writing me songs. He doesn’t like buying me two hundred thousand dollar paintings or whispering filthy things to me. He makes me feel smart and capable. He makes me want to work harder. He loves me. And I….
“I love you, Ev,” I say, reaching out my hand to rest on his face. I watch him sigh as if he’s been holding his breath for years. “If what we’ve been doing for the past few weeks is what it’s going to be like forever, I don’t want anything else. You make love seem fucking golden. You’remyangel, Evan.”
“I knew you didn’t hate me.” He grins.
“I knew you didn’t hate me either,” I challenge.
“Great.” He steps closer to me.
“Good.” I step closer to him.
“Perfect.” His gorgeous ridiculous face is right in front of me now.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong withyou?”
Then I kissed him again. And again. And again. Because he has me. And I have him. We’re equals. We’re partners. We’re best friends. We’re justeverything.
And apparently, kissing in the rain is our thing now.
Epilogue
The Summer – Evan
