I tense.
‘Please,’ he says like I might break. Maybe I will. I feel like I could. At any rate, I hate the implication I will. ‘You know what I swore on the Styx. I won’t harm you. I won’t force myself on you. That would hold even within marriage. But it’s very important to me that you know I would never do that, with or without an oath.Never.’ He stresses the final word so intently it echoes in the cavern, a dozen desperate and insistent pleas.
I close my eyes and, slowly, I nod.
I do know it.
I’ve heard him rant enough about those who would – which is every god. That’s what they do. That’s half the stories. And Zeus is the worst … That’s what happens when you let the king do as he pleases and never hold him to account. The others follow suit.
But not Hades. Never him.
‘Now that I’ve made that clear, would you like me to get down on one knee?’ Hades asks, cocky grin tentatively sliding back into place.
‘No, Hades. I don’t want to marry you.’
Although it’s not quite that. More that I never want to be married at all. I didn’t fight for all this to simply end up married anyway.
‘It would be a marriage in name only,’ he says, like he knows what I’m thinking. Of course he does – he knows me well enough now to put together why I don’t want this. But then he smirks again, like a new thought has just occurred to him. ‘It would mean fooling everyone else, which, come now, must excite you somewhat? I know you adore a performance.’
I wish performances weren’t necessary, but, yes, I suppose that’s true. But marriage is too powerful and too risky. I’m not binding myself to someone else, even as a hoax.
He sobers. ‘I wouldn’t touch you. I wouldn’t even hold your hand.’
‘People would know it was a sham.’
‘Fine, I wouldn’t touch you without your permission,’ Hades says. ‘Consider this. I enjoy your company. I believe I have made that clear.’
‘That’s not a reason to marry someone,’ I say.
‘Of course not,’ he says. ‘But, when you enjoy someone’s company and the king of the gods himself is threatening to take that person away – worse, to force them to do something against their will – and it could all be stopped with something as simple as a marriage? That’s a damn good reason to get married. If you want to stay here and marriage is the only wayyou are free, then make that choice yourself and put a bloody ring on my finger already.’
Marriage as freedom? I’d never considered such a thing was possible.
But here it is. Somehow, impossibly, Hades has managed to redefine the institution that has haunted me my entire life.
‘Stay with me. Marry me,’ he says, like the two statements mean the same thing.
I duck my eyes. I can’t look at him right now.
‘Thank you,’ I say, and he looks up almost hopefully. ‘But no. Marriage has haunted me my whole life – it’s too much for me, even as a lie.’
He nods. ‘Okay, I understand. And … are you all right? That was … far more intense than I meant it to be. It was just a passing thought. I believed it might solve something. Maybe stop your permanent terror of being found, at the very least.’
By the Fates, I’m so glad I chose to run away to this realm. I’m so glad I met this man.
‘I know. I understand.’ It’s not what I want to say. I want to tell him how much he means to me, to show just how much I value him and his friendship and the fact he would offer such a momentous thing to me. But I’ve never put such sentiments into words before, and all I can manage is: ‘Thank you, really.’
He smirks and just for a moment I imagine what it would be like to say yes to him. Something jumps in my stomach. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad feeling and that uncertainty alone is reason enough to say no.
‘Well, if you change your mind, my offer remains open,Persephone.’
My head jerks back up and I can’t tell if he’s joking. ‘Is it bad that I actually really like that?’
Because, among the horrific things my father said, there was something that’s been echoing through my mind since: ‘I would have thought “chaos bringer” more appropriate.’ Yes, Father, I think so too.
‘Persephone it is, then,’ Hades says, like it’s that simple. And maybe it is.
Gone islittle girl.Kore.
