Her bell-like laugh had always been my undoing. “Yes.” The entire exchange left my head swimming. She sighed and wrapped a loose strand of her hair through her fingers. The action was painfully familiar, reminding me of the way Leena toyed with her bestiary.
Bowen sighed. “You’re not well.”
I forced a swallow. “As evidenced by your appearance.”
“Hush.” Amira placed a gentle hand over her heart. “Please, listen.”
“Please,” Bowen echoed her a breath later.
Suffocating haze thickened around them, turning her hair a dripping strawberry blond and setting Bowen’s locks aflame. Thoughts I’d never even dared to speak, guilt for their deaths, ripped through me. The aftermath of what I’d done was within arm’s reach.
I’d never been given the chance to beg for forgiveness.
My chest ached. “I didn’t know. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry.”
Bowen ran a tender hand down my forearm. “We know. We don’t blame you.”
“But there is a way to make amends.” Amira shifted closer, and the scent of honeysuckle and sunshine surrounded me. Eyes downcast and clouded, her somber words shook the room. “If you’re willing to help us find peace, that is.”
The words were out of my mouth before I could even consider the implications. “Of course. Tell me.”
“We’ve been wandering since our deaths.” Bowen’s scent of cardamom and orange melded with Amira’s, creating an aroma that smelled like my past. Like opportunity. Like the chance to do right by them.
“You have?” I wasn’t sure what death was supposed to entail. When I’d gone under, there’d been nothing but darkness and quiet relief. But before I could follow the path to the gods’ realm, I’d been brought back. Were Amira and Bowen really trapped? Caught somehow in between worlds? They couldn’t be living in the underworld. That treacherous place was for wayward souls with no chance of redemption. It’s where I imagined I’d go. But not them. They were both too bright. Too good. They belonged in the gods’ realm, eating succulent foods and drinking rich wine, dancing without ever tiring. Smiling. Always.
But they weren’t there. They were here. Stuck. Because of me.
My room slid entirely out of focus, enveloping us in a cocoon of red. Their touches were soft and sinful, damning and saving all at the same time. Amira ran her knuckles along my jawline, and for a moment, my eyes slipped closed. Their hearts beat as one in my ears. Cadences that had been silent only minutes ago surged through my world, establishing a rhythm that kept me tied to this moment. To them.
Bowen pressed a gentle hand on my low back, and my eyes fluttered open. “Leena is your love, just like we were. First Amira, then me, now her.”
Amira’s gaze was pure red now, but her voice was gentle. “We’re so glad you’ve broken the curse. But…”
“What?” My question was more of a rasp. There was an unspoken ask lingering on the tips of their tongues. Something appalling. Something they expected me to balk at. But I’dcondemnedthem to this. Me. It was my fault. If I could somehow find a way to alleviate that, if I could grant them passage to the gods’ realm…
It would be the first step on a long path to redemption.
Amira’s fingers tensed. “I don’t want to add to your burden.”
I placed my hand over hers. “Tell me.”
“Everyone who’s been touched by your curse is forced to wander. To wait. When you broke the priestess’s spell, we were supposed to be given passage. And yet, here we are.”
Everyone.Thaleus. Countless faces. All those men and women who’d died on the battlefield during the war with Rhyne. All those deaths I mistook for a common illness associated with warfare. Friends, mentors…so they were left wandering too.
Something small and demanding begged me to remember what had happened in the clearing when Winnow had removed my curse. I had seen all those pained faces, but when the curse had been lifted, life had reentered their bodies. They’dsmiledat me, as if somehow I’d been forgiven.
It didn’t seem like there were wanderers left. But Amira, Bowen… I glanced back and forth between the two of them. Theyfeltreal. Their deaths still weighed heavy on my heart. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe…
“I didn’t know.”
“We know. We don’t blame you.” Bowen’s nose brushed against my ear. They were both so close, surrounding me. Drowning me. “But you can help us find peace. All you have to do is give us the last wanderer. Then we can all ascend together.”
The last wanderer?My mind reeled. Tried and failed to connect the dots. Between their heady scents and the thick red tendrils wrapping us in our own private world, nothing made sense anymore.
“Please, Aleksander.” Amira leaned closer, trailing her fingers along the bare expanse of my chest. I was frozen beneath their touches, mind revolting at the thought of…of what, exactly? They deserved peace. I’d wanted that very thing for so long. If I had the power to alleviate their pain, then I would do it. Without question.
My throat was tight. “How?”
