Minutes dragged by until she sighed, resting her palm flat against me. “Did something happen?”
I placed my hand over hers. “No, nothing like that.”
She slipped out of my embrace and pushed herself into a sitting position. The movement caused the collar of her shirt to slip down her shoulder, exposing smooth skin. “Then what is it?”
I traced the curve of her neck with a brush of my thumb. “There’s just a lot on my mind right now.”
“Like what you mentioned back in Hireath? About your past?”
I stilled. “No. Not that.”
“You can trust me, you know. I want to know everything about you.” She cupped the side of my face, sweeping delicate fingers across the faint crescent-moon scar on my cheekbone. “Like this—where did this come from?”
She always circled back to my past, the part of me I didn’t want her to know. Former lives were better left in the dirt—that was the rule of becoming a Cruor assassin. And aside from Kost, no one knew anything about who I’d been. It was safer to keep my identity buried. Safer, especially, for my incredibly mortalanam-cara.
Back at Hireath, I’d promised her everything, secrets and all. But I’d underestimated how difficult it would be to find the words—the courage—to risk so much.
She leaned in close, her breath soft against the faint mark on my cheek. “Give me this, at least.”
Chills raked my body, and I sat up so I could press my lips to the hollow of her throat. “There’s not much to tell. I was just a boy, sparring with my father.” I nipped at her skin, and she shivered. “He nicked me with the tip of his sword. Mother nearly castrated him on sight.” At the thought of my parents, long dead, a sudden pang tightened my chest. If they were still living, what would they think of their son now?
Leena must not have felt the monstrous weight suddenly caving in the room. “What were they like? Your parents?”
Tensing, I paused with my lips poised just above her collarbone. “They were great.” I dragged my fingers down the soft curve of her hips. When I skirted them closer to her thighs, she arced into my hand.
“Tell me about them.”
“Now?”
She nodded. “I want to know about your past.”
My past.The heavy silver ring on my finger winked up at me in the candlelight, the squared emerald a perfect cage of magic that needed to remain intact at all costs. I pulled my hand away and looked to the ceiling. “I’m happy with the life I have now. The one before Cruor was full of heartache. A lot of people I loved died.”
“I still want to know about it.” She snared my chin and forced me to meet her unyielding gaze.So much fire.My heart stilled as she ripped away my defenses and left me raw. “Why is it so hard to talk about?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Because I don’t like who I was.”
Her answering smile was so unbelievably tender. “Noc, this life I have, here…” She gestured to the walls of Cruor before wrapping her hands in mine. “I wouldn’t have it unlessyouended up here. Unless you went through everything you did. I love you now because of who you are, and you couldn’t be that person without your past.”
“But the damage I’ve done—”
“I will always see you, Noc. You, not the monster you think you are.”
I cupped her face in my hands as warmth bloomed in my chest. “I love you.”
Even so, I’d been selfish before. I’d tossed logic to the wayside to allow myself to feel, and it had nearly killed her. The curse might be gone, but Cruor’s Oath wasn’t. The bold etching of an onyx scythe taunted me from my inner wrist. One day, when this bounty was gone, when we had one less issue to deal with, then maybe I’d risk another challenge for us to face.
“I love you too.” Leena’s tired gaze slipped from my face to my wrist. She glared at the oath, but placed a gentle kiss on it just the same. “We’ll get rid of this.”
“We will.” I wanted to believe it. Ineededto believe it.
Not a single member of my guild had ever denied the oath’s magic. We had no idea how long it would be until the ax came down. But if my past had taught me anything, it was that the blowwouldcome. It was only a matter of when.
“Hey. Let’s get some sleep. We can talk later, but wewilltalk. Okay?”
Sighing, I slumped into the mattress and pulled her with me, tucking her to my chest. “I promise.”
Her answering hum purred against my heart. “Good.”
