Peaceful silence stretched between us, and I stroked her hair as I stared at the dying candle flame. Lazy fingers dipped low to the space where the hem of her shirt met her waist, and my eyes grew heavy. Her steady breath was a lullaby that dulled my senses, and awareness trickled away. I almost didn’t hear the high-pitched screech of a monster calling from the forest, but it cut through Leena’s quiet breathing and drew me back from the shores of sleep. Slowly, I peeled open my eyes to find the balcony doors propped open, a faint breeze toying with the thick pleated curtains.
A disgruntled, sleep-filled mumble escaped from Leena’s lips. She must have heard the cry as well. Chuckling, I untangled myself and strolled across the bedroom to the parted curtains. The moon sat low over Kitska Forest, desperately trying to shed its cool ivory light on the undergrowth, but the dense branches of twisting trees stitched together to form an impenetrable barrier of gnarled extremities and fluttering leaves. A low howl broke through the reverie and chased a flock of birds high into the night.
“Noc?”
“Coming.” I shut the door and drew the curtains tight, sealing away the chilly air and the errant calls of monsters. As I turned my back to the balcony, my feet rooted to the floor in horror. Leena was standing at the foot of our bed, wild hair splayed about her shoulders. Her accusatory stare—wide and bloodshot—pinned me to the spot. Mouth ajar, she worked her lips as if to speak but came up empty.
She looked like death itself.
Panic lit a fire in my muscles, and I rushed toward her. “Leena?Leena!”
A wet gasp sputtered from her lips, and her hands shot to her paling neck. Blue fingers scratched and dug at paper-thin skin, creating a bloody necklace that dripped over her collarbones.
I pried her hands away, terrified for her. “Gods, stop it. Leena, what’s wrong?”
Fingerprint bruises formed in ghostly impressions along her neck of their own accord, and suddenly I was viscerally reminded of the first time we met. The feel of her weight suspended by my grip as she clawed for air. The way her eyes glassed over and her vocal cords flared against the palm of my hand. The way it felt to almost kill the woman I would come to love more than anything. I could’ve destroyed her then.
You could still destroy her now.
“Noc.” Her raspy call barely registered. An unfamiliar red film descended over my vision, and the dark shadows turned to bloody blades. Waiting. Eager. They were toxic in their allure, and my breathing hitched.
What is this feeling?It wasn’t wholly mine, and yet it felt soright. The red seeping into my vision deepened. A burning pain blossomed in the base of my skull and fractured outward like broken glass. The searing heat branded my mind and promised it would all be over if I’d just do what I was hired to do.Kill.
I wrapped my hand delicately around her throat, matching my fingers up with the blueprint of death already laid out before me. She didn’t shy away, only stared back at me with parted, bluing lips. The feel of her smooth skin against my callused fingers jolted something deep inside me, and I stared in horror at what my hand was doing.
WhatIwas doing.
Something shattered in my brain and the red film dissipated. The room upended in a tornado of swirling black with a single flickering light in the eye of the storm. Shrill whistling pierced my ears, and the surrounding darkness was beyond my reach. It didn’t respond like my shadows, instead burying me under a swell of shocked guilt.
A sudden sharpness, like nails biting into skin, pricked my shoulders.
“Noc, wake up. I’m here. I’m right here.” Leena’s strained voice broke through the horror, and the welcome pressure of her hands on my body yanked me from the turbulent storm.
I bolted upright and jerked away from her, terrified that I had hurt her. My gaze flew immediately to her neck. No blood. No purple bruises. Nothing but blissfully unmarred skin. Leena stared back at me, eyes wide and beautifully alive. Slowly, she raised her hand to cup my cheek, and I recoiled from her outstretched fingers.
Her hand froze midair. “Noc?”
Confusion and hurt played through her gaze. But only moments ago I’d been strangling her. My hands, my touch had stolen her life. A chill raced down my spine, and I studied my hands. It had felt soreal.
“What happened?” I croaked. Our bedroom lazily swung back into view, just the hint of dawn light peeking beneath the bottom of the velvet curtains. A slight breeze toyed with the edges, thanks to the still-open balcony door. Closing it must have been the beginning of the nightmare.
“Nothing happened.” The lines mapping her forehead deepened. “Are you okay?” She tried again to inch her hand closer. I tensed, but forced myself to remain still, to let her fingers graze the side of my cheek. Warmth spurred to life beneath her gentle touch. It wasn’t her fault that my mind had conjured something so awful.
My shoulders slumped.A dream. It was just a dream. Right?“Yes. I’m sorry I woke you.”
“It’s all right. Did you have a nightmare?” She fell back into bed and reached for me. I hesitated, wanting desperately to seek comfort in her embrace, but the memory of her caught beneath my grip was still so vivid. My hands trembled. Gently, she coaxed me down with her, fingers sliding soothingly through my hair. “Want to talk about it?”
Her steady breathing calmed my frayed nerves. “No.”
She sighed. “I get them too, you know.” Delicate fingers worked peaceful circles against my scalp, swirling and massaging in indecipherable patterns. “Wynn plagues my dreams.”
Every muscle tensed. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tight. The velvet feel of her warm skin was so smooth here, but I knew if I allowed my fingers to travel south, to dance along the expanse of her legs, I’d find a map of raised scars. Slowly, I exhaled and let the unease my dream had brought slip away with it. My hell had only been a nightmare, but hers had been all too real.
“Get some rest.” I brushed a soft kiss against her collarbone.
“Mmm.” Her mumbled response was answer enough, and slowly the pressure of her fingers in my hair faded as sleep reclaimed her thoughts. But the tantalizing draw of peaceful slumber eluded me, and the barest shade of fiery red clung to the edges of my vision. Haunting. Beckoning. Whispering.
The oath was making itself known.
