The fog obscuring his eyes cleared, and his horrified gaze raked over my body before returning to my face. “Leena.”
Relief crashed into me, and I slumped before him, cutting off my power. “Thank the gods.” But when I went to pull his face to mine and envelop him in a kiss, he jerked away. Brushing me aside, he took several steps back.
“Noc.”
He cringed at the sound. “Stay away. It’s not safe. I’m not safe.”
“It’s all right. You didn’t hurt me.” I pushed forward, ignoring the way he flinched with every step I took. His wild eyes were full of uncertainty, full of doubt. A tremor swept through his shoulders when I finally placed my hand on his chest. “I promise, I’m okay. Itrustyou, Noc.”
For a moment, neither of us moved. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He stiffened, but didn’t retreat. With a gentle brush of my lips, I kissed his cheek. Then his mouth. He finally cracked, a wordless sob coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and then his lips slanted over mine. Anxiety riddled his frame, and his hands traveled the length of my spine before securing themselves on my waist. Pressing my chest flush with his, he fused the shards of my heart back together. His love was all it took. That was all it’d ever take.
He broke away for a moment to rest his forehead against mine. “I heard you.”
“You’re myanam-cara. I will always find a way.” Placing a gentle kiss on his now-tearstained lips, I swallowed his trembling breath and willed him to take solace in my words. “You wouldn’t hurt me, Noc.”
His grip on me tightened. “I’m sorry I made you worry.” He rested his chin on top of my head and glanced at Oz and Kost. “All of you.”
Kost kept his distance. “We don’t have time to delay. We need to get the beast and get out.”
Oz rubbed the back of his neck, but the tautness in his muscles remained. “Kost is right.”
Noc let out a weary sigh. “Let’s go.” With one hand firmly grasping my waist and the other tucked into his coat pocket, he led us toward the edge of Luma Lake. Oz and Kost were barely a breath behind us, the heat of their bodies rolling off them in waves and crashing against my back. Touching my chin to my shoulder, I raised a brow at Oz.
Face set in a hard grimace, his gaze flickered from me to Noc and back again.
“Here.” Noc stopped at the edge of the water. A set of smooth river stones flecked with opals were nestled between the blades of grass. With our boots inches from the sheetlike surface of the water, we stood between the rocks. “It’s best if we use the shadows.”
Kost’s voice was edged. “Considering you just wrapped your pair bond in an unbreakable barrier, are you sure that’s the best choice right now? Your control is nearly gone, Noc. Leena would be an easy target in the realm. At least out here she can run away.”
Shock kept me from rebutting. There was a hint of protectiveness in his normally controlled tone. Glancing over my shoulder, I studied the quiet tremor racing through Kost’s fisted hands. I hadn’t spoken about my inability to summon a beast while we were running from Darrien’s men, but maybe he’d noticed as much. They were my greatest strength against a threat like Noc, and without them… Oz shifted his weight beside him. Jaw set, his hard gaze targeted Noc’s back.
Noc stiffened, but his voice was soft. “We move faster in the dark. Without the shadows, it would take us several hours to cross the lake, if not longer. And then there are the guard towers.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “We’ll be exposed to three of them until we hit the fog.”
I spied the glittering strongholds standing tall along the inside of the walls. Bodies moved in front of roaring fires, their frames bleeding into shadows and distorting their numbers. Just how many pairs of eyes would be on us? If a Sentinel discovered our whereabouts, they’d beam down to our location in an instant. Turning back to Noc, I leaned my head against his shoulder. I didn’t fear his shadows.
He trailed my cheek with his knuckles. “You’ll be safe.”
“I know.”
Taking a step forward, his foot connected with solid nothingness. Glinting water sparkled beneath his feet with the first stars of night, and he tugged at my hand to follow. My boots met something solid, but the water’s surface remained untouched. An invisible bridge only a native Wilheimian would know to look for.
Gentle shadows lurched from his frame and blanketed my world in a beautiful mess of onyx. Unlike before, the familiar gentle kiss of smoke raced along my skin. A loving touch. I followed a fleeing tendril to Noc’s hardened face, the ghost of desperation still etched into the somber depths of his eyes. Squeezing his hand, I placed a soft kiss on his knuckles.
His smile was tight. “Shall we?”
Kost and Oz emerged in the dark and added their own sets of shadows to our swirling expanse. Together, we walked away from Wilheim and across Luma Lake. The bridge was a shimmering fog of slate gray beneath our feet, somehow visible in the depths of the curling shadows. I’d never seen so many competing variations of obsidian. Sable tendrils snuck between blotches of ebony and charcoal streaks. Wisps of slate added texture and dimension to the inky world. Starless, and yet not without warmth. It was beautiful. And yet… As the minutes stretched by and the endless abyss pushed forward, a somber ache simmered in my soul. Beautiful and lonely.
When I glanced down at my hand, my fingers trembled. Once again my emblem had lost all semblance of color. No rosewood bark. No hint of light. Only sooty, graphite markings that appeared fragile enough to be brushed away. So enamored with the strange beauty of a world I’d never seen, I’d never thought to study my own marking before today. But now… It was all I could see.
I delved deep into my well of power and searched for the beast realm as panic escalated inside me. I could see the door in my mind’s eye, but it still wouldn’t open. It was as if the handle had been burned to ash and the cracks around the frame had been sealed shut. Barred from entry, just like before.
Twice now I’d tested out my ability to summon a beast in the shadows.
Twice now I’d been denied.
Everything I feared, everything I tried to get Noc to understand, unraveled before me.
My mind rewound to the conversation we’d had outside of the abandoned house. When the pouring rain had slammed into us while we waited for Kost and Oz to deem the decrepit manor safe. As cold as the night had been, the conversation had been worse. I’d told him to let me die if fate willed it so. Because I had feared exactly this: a world of darkness, beautiful as it may be, where my beloved beasts couldn’t be reached. A horrid and painful reminder of what I could no longer have, a sealed door in the backdrop of my mind.
