“Gods dammit, Kost.” I bristled, choking on my words and unintentionally shortening his name. Why was he fighting this? Why did he care now, after all these years? Running a hand down my face, I took several breaths before peering through my fingers. “Sorry. Kostya. Just… This is for the best.”
Silence stretched between us, save the howling wind that continued to whip across the open plains and slam into our bodies. And yet, neither of us moved. We stood alone like the graveyard statues, unperturbed by the dead. And then Kostya offered the closest thing to a smile I’d ever seen on his face.
“Kost… I haven’t been called that in ages.”
“I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”
He shook his head once. “It’s…fine.” With a staggering breath that seemed to loosen something in his chest—something intangible and full of unspoken emotion—he turned his unrelenting stare on me. “We will find a cure. You’re not going anywhere.”
The look he gave me brokered no argument. I swallowed hard. “And until then?”
He closed the distance between us and went to put his hands on my shoulders, hesitating only for a second before allowing his fingers to grip me tight. “You fight it. You fight every step of the way. You put distance between yourself and everyone else. Those who don’t know you won’t know the difference. And those who do…” He flashed a weak grin. “We’ll understand. You just have to be…cold.”
The laugh that escaped my chest was near-hysterical.Cold.That I could do. I’d been too aloof for my father’s tastes, never fostering the right relationships with the right people in the castle. I hadn’t earned the title the Frozen Prince for nothing. I just never thought I’d embrace it again.
“The only person I’m remotely close to anymore is Talmage…and now you.”
“Yes, well…” He cleared his throat, and a faint pink touched his ears. “You’ll have to lock your emotions away, if only to protect those around you. For now, anyway. Do you understand?” Kost’s words were chilly and formal, but there was something almost warm to his gaze. It baffled me to no end that he chose now, while he was fully aware of my curse, to offer some semblance of friendship. Friendship that Icouldn’taccept or act upon. But to know it was there, to know someone was working with me to fight against the unthinkable… Emotions swelled in my chest, and I quickly locked them away in a cage of ice. I wouldn’t lose anyone else to this curse. Slowly, I brushed his hands aside. Stepped out of his reach.
Rather than appear hurt, he nodded and adjusted his glasses. “Can you do it?”
“First the Frozen Prince, now the Frozen Assassin.” With a shake of my head, I tossed one more look at Bowen’s grave before stalking toward the exit. “I’ve had years of practice. It was foolish of me to think I could ever leave that part of me behind.”
Kost fell into step beside me, eyes tight and gaze transfixed on something I couldn’t see. “Don’t fret. We’ll find a way out of this. For now, we’ve got research to do.”
After everything Talmage and Kost had done for me, I could at least give them a chance. I knew what it was like to live with regret, to hold myself accountable for consequences I never imagined would occur. If Kost really held himself responsible for me, for my current predicament… My gaze slid to him. I didn’t want him to live with the same weight that I carried in my chest. Even if we never found a cure and I did end up leaving—for his safety and that of everyone else at Cruor—at least we tried.
As we pushed our way through the creaking gate of the graveyard, I left more than Bowen’s body behind. I left my emotions with him and prayed no one in this world would ever have the ability to unbury them again.
Twenty-Two
Noc
Present day
We hit the northern banks of Luma Lake within a few hours. The bloated moon hung low in the ink-black night, and thousands of stars stretched across the crisp expanse. A snowcapped mountain range erupted in the north, and howling winds rushed through the canyons to race across the treeless plains. Ice-drenched fog clung to our ankles and crawled up our calves, ushering in a cold that couldn’t be chased away with movement.
Shivering, Leena pulled her cloak tight around her. “Is it safe to make camp? I’ll never survive if I can’t switch to wool breeches.”
“We can spare a few hours.” I pulled her in close. “They wouldn’t risk searching for us at night out here.”
“I’ll get our things. I don’t think Tok would handle this cold well.” She splayed out her hand and channeled her power. Skin obscured by her clothing, I couldn’t see the spreading network of blooming branches and leaves as she prepared to enter the beast realm. I didn’t know she was ready until flowers framed her temple and crept out of her hairline. She disappeared to retrieve our items, appearing moments later with more bags than arms and a flush to her cheeks.
We set to work without hesitation, erecting a single tent with thick, windproof canvas the same white as our surroundings. Grabbing a nearby stone, Ozias hammered stakes deep into the permafrost of the earth. The four of us rushed in, and he tied off the open flaps to keep the howling winds at bay. Kost dove a hand into his pocket and extracted a small lighting orb the size of a river stone. Flickering warmth ignited in its center, casting the area in a warm marigold glow. There was barely enough room for four people to sleep side by side, but with this kind of chill, body heat was far from something to complain about.
“I knew it’d be cold, but holy gods, this is insane.” Leena crouched and sorted the satchels until she found hers. Shaking fingers reached for the clasp at her neck, and her cloak pooled around her winter gown.
Kost kneeled and opened his own bag. “As soon as dawn hits, we should move.”
Leena turned her back to us and began undressing. “The Azad comes out at night. As long as we’re there when the moon rises tomorrow, we’ll be fine.”
Ozias whirled around to face the tent’s opening with an apologetic glance in my direction. Kost kept his chin carefully tucked, a hint of pink skimming the tops of his ears. Despite everything, it was difficult not to laugh. A sliver of warmth melted the icy grip on my heart.
Bowen had led me straight to them. Once we were at the gates and out of sight, we’d delved into shadows, snuck through the sewer gate, and reappeared on the edge of Luma Lake. And standing there beside Leena was Amira. With her golden hair fanned out wide in a perpetual wind, she lingered close to Leena and ghosted her fingers along the expanse of my pair bond’s neck.
I hadn’t even told the shadows to act. They simply had. One dangerous tendril so wildly beyond my control had surged from my fingers and noosed my love. I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t find the drive to remember or care why it was such a bad thing for it to be there. Everything else faded from existence, and I’d simply followed their leads.
And then Leena’s words—and power—had burst through the sick mirage and brought me back. Guilt threaded through my gut as I watched her slip into thick cashmere tights, followed by a pair of wool-lined alabaster breeches. Pulling on a long-sleeved undergarment and a frost-blue tunic over the top, she then reached for her cloak.
