It’s nearly ten when the waitstaff starts giving us the evil eye and we drag ourselves out of the diner. Ben carries our nested hats at his side and claims my hand, as he’s been doing all night. I can’t believe how normal it feels. I start to wonder what will happen next—am I going to end up back at his place again? Is he coming to mine? How far am I willing to go? My heartbeat ratchets up at the uncertainty.
“So, where are we headed?” Subtle, I am not.
Ben tightens his grip on my hand. There’s a long pause.
“Home,” he finally answers.
“Whosehome?”
He eyes me sideways. “Yours.”
“Okay—”
“To drop you off.”
I stop walking abruptly, forcing him to a stop. “What do you mean? You’re not coming up?”
“I don’t put out on the first date.”
If he’s looking for a cheap laugh, he’s not getting it from me. “You weren’t this bashful on Saturday night.”
He blows out a breath. “I just didn’t want to bring this up tonight, especially since we did such a good job avoiding sensitive topics.” He grimaces slightly and looks away, and I know whatever he’s about to say, I’m not going to like it. “You said you didn’t want anyone at work to find out about this. I take it that’s still the case?”
Why does this feel like a trick question? My Spidey senses are tingling.
“Yeees...” I answer slowly. What does that have to do with him coming up? Does he think Senator Warner’s hiding in my apartment?
He looks me straight in the eye. “Well, I don’t want to date you in secret.”
I drop his hand. “Excuse me?”
“The sneaking around, the hiding. It’s not how I want to do this.”
My heart’s beating so loud, I swear I can hear it. “You know I’m not ready to put this out there.”
“I do know, which is why I’m trying to come up with a solution we can both live with.”
“So your big solution is to stoptouchingme?”
He takes a deep breath. “Kate, how would you feel if I said I wanted to date you, but only under the cover of darkness or behind closed doors?”
“That is atotalmisrepresentation of my reasons for wanting to keep this private.”
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”
I stare at him. “I’m notashamedto be dating you.”
“Okay,” he says, after a pause.
He doesn’t believe me.
“Ben. I’m not.”
“I said,okay.” He’s getting testy.
“But you still don’t want to come up.”
“Of course Iwantto come up.”
