“So next time, then? I’m counting on you to let me know what’s underneath those Ralph Lauren suits.”
In an unexpected twist, Ben and Stephen have become friends, a development that seems to make zero and perfect sense at the sametime. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised—both of them could make friends with a tree—but after their inauspicious beginning, I was caught off guard one day when I spotted them in the midst of an animated discussion in line at the servery. When I asked Stephen about it later, all he’d say was they’d “buried the hatchet.”
“You probably stand a better chance of finding out what’s underneath those suits than I do.”
“Are you telling me that you went over to his apartment, cooked him dinner—which I assume included alcohol—andstillnothing happened?”
“There was a moment...” I trail off. “But I just don’t think it’s like that between us.”
Saying the words aloud breaks my heart a little, because of course what I mean is, it’s not like that forhim. I am currently shipwrecked on Infatuation Island, population: one.
“Oh, please. The sexual tension between you two is givingmeblue balls! I can only imagine how a guy with that much testosterone is holding up.”
Talking about this so openly is having a strange effect on me. My fragile emotions, already simmering below the surface, are threatening to boil over. I swivel my chair to face the window and take a couple of cleansing breaths.
“What’s wrong?”
I don’t answer. Ican’tanswer.
There’s a pregnant pause. “Oh my God.”
“There’s nooh my Godnecessary, okay? I’m just tired.” My voice, thick with unshed tears, betrays the lie.
“How did I miss this? You’re smitten! You’re a smitten kitten!”
“Stephen,stop. And lower your voice.” I glance uneasily at my closed blinds, as if Ben might be huddled there, listening.
“You love him! You want to have all his babies! Honey, I don’t blame you. It’s a natural instinct in the presence of so much raw masculinity. Your ovaries are probably exploding anytime he’s around. Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten pregnant from the looks he gives you.”
The laugh that bubbles out of me is laced with hysteria. “I need you to take it from a ten to a three. Please? I’m hanging on by a thread here.”
He studies me as I rub my eyes. Even after an ocean’s worth of eye drops, they’re still raw from last night’s cryfest.
“When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why do youthink? You and Tessa have been all over me about this! And please don’t say anything to her, okay? I don’t need her judgment on top of everything else.”
“Okay, first of all, Inevertold you not to date this guy. If you like him, you should date him. It shouldn’t matter what I or Tessa or anyone else thinks.”
“You know how it would go over around here.”
He’s unfazed. “So people will gossip for a while. Who cares? You’re not really going to let that stop you, are you?”
“It’s not just about what other people will think,” I admit. “It’s about whatIthink.”
He sighs. “You can’t get past it.”
“I can’t!”
He props his elbows on my desk, regarding me seriously. “Why not?”
“Why not?Because we’re polar opposites! Because our belief systems are totally incompatible. Because... that!” I fling my arm in the direction of my muted TV, where Senator Hammond is currently being interviewed. “He’s defending gun rights right now, Stephen.Gun rights.And I’ll give you one guess as to who wrote those talking points.”
“That’s his job,” Stephen says gently. “You know as well as I do that the job doesn’t define you.”
“So you would date a Republican, then?”
He pauses. “That depends. Does he look like Ben?”
