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He didn’t believe she’d only wanted a brief fling. How could what they’d shared have been so intense if that was really true? He cursed the fact he hadn’t challenged her or told her he didn’t want to say goodbye. Just as he hoped she had been doing, he’d hidden behind the fear of rejection—but he couldn’t do that any longer. Paulo’s widow had made him realise that.
* * *
Tilly watched from the window as Xavier stood on the street, his indecision clear, before he crossed the street and made his way to the main door of her flat. Her heart thumped hard and memories of those blissful nights at the manor rushed back from the place she’d locked them. She’d successfully done that, but now his unexpected presence made her wonder what would have happened if she and Xavier had been forced to stay in the manor longer.
He would have tired of her within days and she wouldn’t have been able to hide her love, something he wasn’t capable of. That night in front of the fire she’d tried to heal his pain, tried to love him, but all he’d wanted had been to get away as fast as he could.
What did he want from her now? In an act of self-preservation she’d made it quite clear what had happened between them had meant nothing and would never be repeated.
Judging by the internet pictures she’d seen of him out last night—hours after they’d said goodbye, with a very beautiful woman hanging on his arm and every word—he had moved on. Forgotten her completely. It was what she’d wanted, but it didn’t make it any easier. She loved him, had missed him next to her at night.
The need to know more of Xavier, to see his handsome face again, had made her do the one thing she’d never done before—look up a man on the internet. Not just as a professional check for business purposes but because she’d had to.
Initially she’d been looking for information on the accident, wanting to know why he blamed himself, and had found nothing to suggest anyone had blamed him. Then with one final click she had stumbled across photos of him looking more than comfortable with a new woman at a celebrity party. Pain had slashed through her. Hurt, betrayal and finally resignation. He would never look at her in any other way than for a casual affair.
At least now she could understand his haste to get away from the manor. Not only did he regret their intimacy, he’d moved on, his next conquest waiting in the wings.
Her doorbell rang, distracting her from the painful thoughts, and with a heavy heart she pressed the button to open the main door of her flat. It was time to be brave, move forward and not look back. She couldn’t let Xavier know that being with him had made her realise she’d never loved Jason, or that he’d stirred her childhood memories as well as her heart, and that as soon as she’d returned home she’d set about contacting her father’s family in Tuscany, ticking off another item on her list.
Now they wanted to meet her. She should be ecstatic, but her elation was tinged with sadness. She’d wanted to tell Xavier, thank him for giving her that final push, that final bit of courage. Her bag was packed and she was leaving at the weekend, but first she had a night out with Vanessa.
That thought lifted her spirits a little, even though Vanessa had grilled her constantly about this mysterious Italian with whom she’d spent an entire three days locked away from the world. After a bit of pressure she’d told Vanessa that she’d ticked an item off her list, that she’d moved on from Jason, but she couldn’t admit she’d fallen in love and given him her virginity, something Vanessa had had no idea had still existed. Not when the man in question was even more capable of breaking her heart than Jason had been.
A loud knock on her flat door jolted her from her thoughts and she looked through the viewer to see Xavier, his back to the door, impatience in his stance as he waited for her to open it. There was no mistaking who he was. She’d know that rigid set of Xavier’s shoulders anywhere. They, along with everything else about him, were imprinted on her mind for evermore.
She pushed her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. She had no idea what he wanted, but it wasn’t her. She took in a deep breath, preparing to face the man she loved.
‘Xavier,’ she said as she opened the door, injecting a happy note into her voice, one she was far from feeling. ‘We agreed. Remember?’
As soon as she’d said the words, she knew she’d given herself away. The way he coolly assessed her sent her nerves jangling and she resisted the urge to give in to the need to babble on. She didn’t have to explain herself to anyone, least of all Xavier Moretti.
