Kyle tilts his head, studying me. “Reunion, huh. So this Liz is an old flame?”
“Just an old friend.” The words come out clipped, automatic.
Kyle smirks. “You don’t look like a guy who’s just talking about a friend.”
“I’m tired. Don’t start.”
“Alright, alright. But look, why the hell not? You’ve got the vacation time. Could be fun.”
“Why the hell not, indeed.” I force a laugh. My hands are already shaking as I type.
Liz,
I actually will be attending, thanks for reminding me to RSVP. Let Candy know I’ll see her there.
Ben
I hit send before I can talk myself out of it.
The whoosh of the sent email feels like a door slamming shut. My chest hollows out.
“Guess that’s settled then,” Kyle says lightly, already turning back to his show.
Settled. Right. Except my heart is racing, my palms are sweaty, and the next two months suddenly feel like a countdown.
Now to find plane tickets.
Chapter 21
Liz, April 1
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Do you ever have those moments where your stomach drops out because you’re so nervous? I just sent an email to Ben. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s been 34 days since he cut me out of his life without so much as a band-aid, and I just emailed him. Stupid, Liz. What the hell were you thinking? He made it pretty clear that he’s not interested in speaking to me. He wants me to move on. He…
Responded.
I can’t open it. I’m sure it says “Didn’t you get the hint? This email address has now been blocked as well.”
I chew at the edge of my thumbnail, then switch to the cap of my pen. My leg won’t stop bouncing against the floor.
I open the response. I don’t know why.
Liz,
I actually will be attending, thanks for reminding me to RSVP. Let Candy know I’ll see her there.
Ben
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my freaking gosh.
I actually click “Reply” and close the reply box eight times before finally shutting down my laptop without sending anything. The laptop screen glares at me like it knows my secrets, and I slam it closed, pressing my palm flat against the lid until my hand hurts. My hand shakes as I write a little 1 with a circle around it next to Ben’s name. I officially have a month and a half until I have to come face-to-face with Ben.
Quickly locating my own name on the organized spreadsheet, I erase the 1 and change it to a 2. Then I pick up my phone and send a text to Matt.
Liz: Hey on May 23rd I have a high school reunion. Would you go with me?
Matt: Yeah
Liz: Thanks so much
