“Absolutely. But this was no ordinary girl.”
Her eyebrows rise. Intrigued.
“I realized I would do anything for this particular girl.”
“Anything?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Amazing. Lucky girl.” Her smile softens, dreamy.
“She could’ve been lucky, but I never told her how I felt.” My cheeks heat. Somehow that makes it easier to continue.
“Why not?” I glance at her. Her voice cracked, subtle but unmistakable. Did she know the girl was her?
“I guess I feared it could never work. Not telling her felt safer than risking rejection.” I think back to the reunion, to her polite dismissal. Perhaps I was right to be cautious—but here I am, taking the leap anyway.
“So that’s it? You never told her?”
Her question draws me back. “No. Never telling her is where the story begins. See, this girl trusted me, asked my opinion on her relationships, leaned on me in ways she didn’t even know she needed. I promised myself I’d step aside if the right guy came along. Then one day she mentioned someone who sounded perfect, and I—”
Her eyes water. “You did something crazy?”
“For her,” I correct softly. “I did it for the woman I loved.”
She is quiet, a tear rolling down her cheek. I reach out, loosely holding her hand.
“I’m sorry, Liz. I honestly thought it was best. I never imagined he would hurt you.”
“You should’ve told me,” she whispers, squeezing my hand tighter.
I watch her carefully, taking in the mixture of strength and vulnerability. She meets my eyes, smiles, brushes stray tears away. “No regrets.”
“Excuse me?”
“Life is too short for regrets. I don’t want to have any. I’m choosing to live in the now, do what’s right, and not dwell on how it turns out.”
“That’s a good idea,” I admit. “So, do you forgive me for not telling you sooner?”
“Absolutely.” Her smile is radiant. “I can forgive you for what’s in the past and we can move forward. Now, if I came all this way and didn’t do this, I’d be sad.” She leans forward and kisses me lightly.
Chapter 61
Liz, April 18
It could’ve been Ben.
All along, it could’ve been Ben. I hang my head and allow myself to imagine the possibilities. I cannot picture it fully—how different I was last year, before all of this. Would it have always bothered me, wondering what could’ve happened with Matt? Could I have handled being 5,000 miles from Ben? What about the baby I didn’t realize I wanted until I felt it move inside me?
Then I know. Everything we’ve been through led us to this moment, here and now. No regrets, I tell him proudly.
“Excuse me?” His emerald eyes flash with confusion.
“Life is too short for regrets. I don’t want to have any. I’ve decided to live in the now, to do what’s right, and to not look back on how it works out.”
“That’s a good idea.” He smiles, playful and familiar—the same smile I used to see on late-night Skype calls years ago.
“Thank you,” I say, fully aware of the warmth growing inside me, a desire to feel him closer.
