“Excellent,” Kyle says. “Good luck to you.”
“Thanks. Zach, anything to add?” I turn to the more unusual, outspoken flatmate.
“Is this the glass chick who was here awhile back?”
“She’s not glass, you wanker, but yes, Liz was here in April,” I answer, feigning impatience.
“And this baby, it’s another bloke’s, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t that a bit off?”
“How so?”
“Like, isn’t he gonna be there when the baby shoots outta her? Ain’t that gonna be a bit wonky?”
The question hangs heavier than I want to admit. “I guess I didn’t really think of that.” Honesty, apparently, is my new policy.
“Well, good luck with that, mate.” Zach takes a long drink of water and looks away.
“Thanks,” I say, but the word tastes different this time. For the first time in weeks, I feel the tiniest crack in the certainty I’ve been holding onto.
Chapter 69
Liz, May 28
“Are you sure about this?” My principal is a nice lady. She’s about five years older than me, married, no children. This school and her career mean everything to her, and I’ve always admired that. Now she’s sitting across from me with my resignation letter between us, her expression serious.
I try to lighten the mood with a joke. “I’m sure. I can’t handle the commute from England every day.” My joke falls flat.
“I’m serious, Liz. As a friend…” We’re friends? “…I feel I should ask if you’ve considered how awkward it would be to get all the way to England and be disappointed.”
“Thank you for your concern, but I am sure about this.” I give her my most confident smile. She can’t read my mind, I remind myself. She doesn’t need to know I’ve had the exact same fear.
Because part of me really does want this. Everything I’ve been imagining suddenly feels within reach. But the truth is, I’m still new at dreaming and dreams don’t always come true.
Chapter 70
Ben, May 28
Liz looks distracted tonight through my Skype-aided view of her. I know she turned in her resignation letter today, but I’m not entirely sure if that’s what is bothering her. “Did you talk to Amy?” I ask. Amy is a coworker of Liz’s. They’ve made fast friends and I suggested Liz ask Amy to accompany her to childbirth class next week. Amy has kids of her own and always seems perky and helpful when I’ve heard about her or talked with her.
“Yeah, she’s excited. She said she’s glad to be filling in for you.”
“For me?” Didn’t Liz mean filling in for Matt?
“Well, yeah. If you were here wouldn’t you go with me?”
“I guess.” My heartbeat quickens as we tiptoe around the topic. “What about Matt though?”
“What about him?” Her defenses go up instantly. Her face darkens, her shoulders sag, she practically rolls her eyes.
“Won’t he want to be there?” See, I’ve avoided asking about this but I just can’t handle festering secrets between us any longer. I have to find out what Liz plans for the birth in the States. I have to be ready.
“I don’t know. Honestly, if he’s there, fine. But I cannot count on him,” she says.
I try to imagine how I’d want this to go if I were in Matt’s shoes. “Have you asked him to come?”
