‘And you think you’ve helped yours?’ I respond, only to let out a sigh. I don’t have the energy to fight him on this. My first night in a proper bed didn’t exactly end in much sleep, and I’m exhausted – emotionally, physically, and mentally.
‘We should get out of here,’ Caz says, breaking the silence that threatens to take hold. ‘Out of Galreck. There are no spare rooms, and there’s no point in hanging around when we could be making progress on the road. If Ruben hasn’t got horses by now, well … we’ll work out what to do.’
I appreciate her taking charge. I’m lost, heart aching, mind swimming, and simple direction is exactly what I need. Without another word, I pick up the bags that Kyor abandoned and try to ignore the pain throbbing in my chest.
We walk to the stables in silence and discover Ruben is already waiting outside. A triumphant look is on his face as he gestures to three unsaddled horses tethered nearby.
‘Hey,’ he says, relieving me of some of the bags I’m carrying. ‘How come it’s just the three of you? Where’s Kyor?’
I wince, though thankfully it’s not accompanied by any tears. ‘Kyor found out about Benny funding the rebels.’ My answer is blunt, but it’s not like I need to say any more.
‘Fuck.’ His voice resonates as his gaze shifts to Benny. ‘And you’re still alive?’
‘Thanks to Rose.’
‘Thank the Gods,’ he says, striding forward and wrapping Benny in his arms.
Maybe it should have been a warning sign that most people assume the man I love would kill anyone who crossed him. But it’s too late for red flags now. I’m in way too deep.
‘Yeah.’ I pause. ‘He also knows you talked about the rebels with Benny, but we mostly managed to keep you out of it.’
With a low sigh, he releases Benny and returns to rest his hand on my shoulder. ‘All right. How are you doing? How can I help you?’
How can I help you?The soft words are enough to bring tears to my eyes. Ruben is a safe harbour in any storm, and I am so damned grateful for him that for a moment I have to swallow down the sudden lump in my throat.
‘You’re the best friend a girl could have,’ I finally say in a warbling voice.
‘Me and that damned friend zone.’ He laughs, but there’s less heat in his words than there once was.
I wince. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I’m teasing you. I’m a big boy.’
‘Yes, you are,’ I sass back with a sad smile.
Ruben pointedly looks around. ‘Damn it, you could have saved that one for when Kyor is back.’
‘I’m here and that’sverygood to know,’ Benny responds, only for Caz to thump him on the arm.
‘You know not everything’s about you, right?’ she comments.
‘Yeah.’ He pauses. ‘But most stuff is.’
They’re trying to lighten the mood. Trying to distract me from the fact that Kyor is gone, and the likelihood of him coming back is … well, it’s about as close to zero as odds can get. But even their playful banter can’t distract me from the despair thrumming through me.
‘You’ll get through this, Rose,’ Caz says softly behind me. ‘I’m certain of it. The two of you … you’re inevitable.’
Her gentle reassurance burns all the more because of her choice of words.
‘Nothing is inevitable,’ I say bitterly.
‘Well, except you winning the Retterheld,’ Ruben comments. ‘That was a certainty the moment you entered. I’m a betting man, remember. And I’m not going to, because I like to think I still havean ounce of dignity left, but I’d bet on you two getting past this stuff.’
He flashes me another smile, but I can’t reciprocate it. It hurts, his being like this. Being so understanding. So damn nice.
Why the fuck couldn’t I loveRuben? What is wrong with me that I’d choose a messed-up, arrogant prince with a father who despises my family and me over this kind-hearted man?
I look over at the three horses. ‘Are those ours?’
