‘Korvane can’t have anything to do with that,’ I reason. ‘Power is given out by the Gods. By Mortidem. Not him.’
‘I know that – I do – it’s just … I wonder if this is the Gods’ way of punishing him, making his subjects born weaker.’ He huffs an acrid chuckle before shaking his head, as if freeing himself from the last thought. ‘Even without whatever’s happening to the magic, we’re not the only people he’s screwing over. And others are starting to see the truth. I just hope it’s not too late.’
When he looks at me, there’s a pleading desperation in his eyes. ‘We didn’t want bloodshed,’ he says. ‘I promise. But my mother has tried other ways of dealing with Korvane for years, and none of them have worked.’
‘The gifting,’ I utter with a sinking feeling in my gut. From almost our first meeting, I knew that whatever they were fighting for, it wasn’t an individual desire. It was greater than that. ‘That was what you were going to ask for if one of you won the gifting. For Korvane to leave you alone.’
‘A little more than that …’ he says cryptically. My mind slips back to when I visited Brandish and spoke to his grandmother, the Dowager Duchess, and she made pointed comments about only answering to the Gods.
‘You wanted the Eastern Isles to be independent,’ I breathe. ‘No longer tethered to Morathka?’
He nods. ‘We wanted a bloodless, war-less separation that would last for a thousand generations. That’s what we were going to ask for.’
‘A thousand generations?’ The number is almost incomprehensible and something stirs within me. A sense of shame so great I feel it rippling through my skin. ‘And I just wanted my powers back. For Kay not to die in poverty,’ I say, my selfishness laid bare. ‘You must hate me.’
‘No. No, Rose, of course I don’t.’ He reaches forward, his anger retreating. ‘We didn’t win. If we’d been meant to, the Goddess would have made it so; I’m sure of that. I just wish I knew what the fuck we had to do to be worthy of a little help from the Gods though.’ His eyes lock on mine. ‘You won because you deserved to, Rose. I believe that. Truthfully.’
I try to nod, try to accept what he’s saying. I should. After all, the Goddess herself said that shechosethe winner. It wasn’t a case of who got to her fastest. If that had been the overriding decision, then Zara would have won andbecome the gifted.
So why didn’t she choose any of the Eastern Islanders when their goal was so much worthier than mine?
‘I don’t know what made you special, Rose,’ Benny says, as if he can read my thoughts. ‘But part of me could sense from the beginning that we weren’t going to win it. After what happened at the Sunken Temple with Jai and Coulter, I was angry. I wanted a backup option. I felt like Etta wasn’t on our side.’
It’s easy to see why he would come to that conclusion. By the time we left the vow ceremony, the Eastern Isles had already lost half their Rettlings, and it wasn’t like Loch was a prime candidate to win any of the trials.
‘I felt like I had to do something,’ Benny continues. ‘That I had to have control of something. So I funded and ordered the rebels to attack the palace.’ He shakes his head and scoffs. ‘Do you know what’s ridiculous? Maybe if Ihadn’tdone that – maybe if I had just accepted those defeats as part of the trials and continued on – then maybe Etta would have seen me as worthy. Maybe shewouldhave granted us the gift. Maybe that bloodshed – people like Ruben’s friend, Peter, dying – maybethey’rethe reason I wasn’t fit to win. So as angry as I am with the whole situation, I don’t blame Etta for her choice. And I sure as heck don’t blame you.’
A single tear trickles from Benny’s eye. He wipes it away with the back of his hand.
A lump is fixed in my throat. I look at Ruben. ‘And you? You weren’t there that night, so where were you?’
Ruben shifts uncomfortably. ‘I’m not all in, never was. I help out a little here and there, sometimes.’ He looks at me. ‘They’re the ones who gave me the fire bead for you. I thought about going with Peter that night, but Mum was sick. I didn’t want to leave her, so I didn’t go.’
‘She saved your life,’ I mutter, mind reeling at the idea that I somehow also benefitted from the rebels. They gave me the fire bead. I would have died that first day if not for that expensive gift.
‘There’s something else you should know,’ Ruben says, his eyes evading mine in a way that implies I’m really not going to like it.
‘You know how you tried to send the food back to the slums? And asked me to help organise it? That was how they got in.’
‘What?’ I frown in confusion.
‘I arranged for three carriages to go to the High Hold, designated to collect the food. They’d already got clearance, so nobody checked inside. That’s how the rebels gained entrance so easily.’
A wave of nausea floods through me and I wrap my arms around my middle, trying to stave off the feeling.
‘How could you?’ Disappointment and hurt fill my voice. ‘They never sent any of the food to the slums after that. People probably died because of you, died of hunger we could have stopped.’
Ruben flinches. ‘I know,’ he whispers and looks away.
Silence starts to bloom, but Benny quickly breaks it.
‘Will you tell Kyor?’ His voice has the slightest hint of a quake to it.
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘He has enough on his plate.’
Ruben snorts. ‘Yeah, because swanning around in privilege is really hard.’
‘Does he look like he’s swanning around in privilege right now?’ I snap. ‘He’s out there, keeping us safe.’ I hesitate, but anger loosens my tongue. ‘Elska says a Myrkr is following us.’
