Ruben scoffs. ‘Seriously, that’s what he’s telling you? They’re just a scary folktale, something to scare the kids into behaving. Gods, he’ll do anything to keep you next to him, won’t he?’
A response burns on my tongue, but before I can spit it back at him, my attention shifts to Caz. She’s been quiet through the entirety of my argument with Benny, but there’s something different about her silence now. And the way she’s looking at Benny suggests a knowledge between them. What am I missing?
‘What?’ I say, shifting my gaze between the pair of them. ‘What is it?’
‘You remember I told you I once read through the entire library in Brandish?’ Benny says eventually. ‘There were diaries there. My great-grandfather’s diaries. He wrote about Myrkrs in there, more than anything else actually. Pages and pages of how he once saw one on the mainland.’
‘Rohan mentioned them too,’ Caz joins in. ‘His encounter was one of the first things he made me scribe for him. Of course, it was Rohan, so Iwanted to dismiss it, but I knew he believed every word he was telling me.’
‘But they both survived?’ I say. I’ve seen Rohan myself and given the diaries Benny’s great-grandfather wrote, it feels like an obvious deduction. ‘That’s encouraging.’
‘The others he was with didn’t,’ Benny admits. ‘My grandmother said it haunted him until the end of his days. That he was never the same.’
‘Rohan’s stories are the same. Only thirty of his group survived,’ Caz says.
‘Out of how many?’ I question.
‘An entire battalion.’
It feels as if my stomach has turned inside out. One of Korvane’s battalions can easily have five hundred soldiers. And only thirty survived. What does that say for our tiny group?
A twig snaps and all four of us whirl around, blades high and ready … only for Kyor and Elska to step into the light. He nods with approval at our raised blades, then looks at me with the unspoken question in his eyes.
‘I told them,’ I say. ‘About the Myrkr. Better we’re all looking out for it. For them.’
‘Just the one, thankfully. And no sign of it for now,’ he reassures us. ‘I’ll grab some sleep while you all eat, and then Els and I will take the rest of the watch later.’
‘We’ll take turns,’ Ruben counters. ‘You’ll be no good to Rose if you’re asleep on your feet tomorrow.’
Kyor opens his mouth, but then closes it.
‘Fine,’ he replies stiffly.
As the two men move off, Caz leans in next to me. ‘Look! They’re not killing each other! And all it took was the most terrifying creature in existence stalking us. Easy.’ She grins.
Neither Benny nor I can even fake a smile.
Thirty out of five hundred.
A part of me knew it before we left, but there’s no denying the truth any longer. There’s no way we’re all coming out of this alive.
Chapter 25
In the predawn light, I watch as Kyor and Elska slink off into the undergrowth. Despite myself, my gut churns with anxiety. My eyes follow them as they disappear into the shadows, and I only realise I’m still staring minutes later when Caz squeezes me by the arm.
‘I’m sure wherever he’s gone, he’ll be okay,’ she tells me. ‘You know that, right?’
I force a smile. ‘Of course I do. He’s like a bloody cockroach.’ Just like me.
It’s an insult our Retterheld combat trainer, Commander Holden, used to use for me. A cockroach surviving the trials while others were dying cruel and pain-filled deaths. I used to think the insult was harsh, but now I wear it as a badge of pride.
There is nothing wrong with surviving, enduring – doing whatever it takes. And Kyor has that same strength.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ Caz asks, her voice hesitant. ‘Without you getting mad?’
‘I don’t know,’ I reply honestly, huffing a half-laugh. ‘What is it you want to ask?’
‘You and Kyor. Why are you fighting it sohard? You know he loves you, and you’re clearly still in love with him. You literally spend the entire day staring at him.’
