The line between his duty and desires was blurred, and the realization unnerved him. Could he simply walk away from her? Could he abandon the only person who had made him question what he truly wanted in life?
The soft click of the parlor door startled him from his musings. He glanced up to see Eugenie entering, her wrapper tied loosely around her waist and a candle in her hand. Her expression was curious and faintly amused.
“We missed you at dinner, Brother,” she said, settling into the chair across from him.
“I dined with Elsbeth’s family,” he replied tersely, hoping she would take the hint and leave. He was in no mood for company, not even hers.
Eugenie, however, had never been one to ignore an opportunity to pry. “Why do you look like death?” she asked.
“I look like no such thing,” Niles retorted, though even he knew his disheveled appearance betrayed him. His hair was unkempt, his cravat hung loosely around his neck, and his jacket was haphazardly draped over the armrest.
Eugenie gave him a knowing look. “You have the air of a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”
Niles shifted uncomfortably in his seat, irritation creeping into his tone. “I do so enjoy our late-night talks, Sister.”
“You must admit, I am right,” Eugenie responded. “This is about Elsbeth, isn’t it?”
He rubbed a hand across his face. “You aren’t wrong, but I would prefer not to discuss it.”
Eugenie leaned forward, undeterred. “Of course you don’t want to talk about it. That’s precisely why you should.”
Setting his glass down with more force than necessary, Niles rose to his feet. “Goodnight, Eugenie. I think I shall retire.”
She tilted her head. “You haven’t come to terms with your feelings for Elsbeth, have you?”
He froze, his back to her, before slowly turning around. “And what if I haven’t?”
“You’re making a mistake,” Eugenie said. “You’re so consumed by your duty, your responsibilities, and what you think the world expects of you, that you’re blind to the happiness standing right in front of you.”
“I am happy,” he insisted, though the words rang hollow.
Eugenie shook her head, her expression sympathetic. “Never be ashamed for loving the way your heart knows.”
He frowned. “And what, pray tell, does that mean?”
Her voice softened, her words filled with quiet wisdom. “You can pretend you don’t need or want love, Niles, but love is as essential as breathing. It doesn’t always come when it’s convenient or when you expect it, but that’s what makes it so precious.”
He sank back into his chair. “And what do you know of love, Eugenie?” he challenged.
A shadow passed over her face, and he instantly regretted his question. “I know enough to know I won’t settle for anything less than love,” she said quietly.
“And nor should you.”
She lowered her gaze, her fingers tracing the edge of her candleholder. “I saw what Father and Mother had. That’s what I want, but I also want to hold on to the freedoms I’ve been given. I don’t want to trade one for the other.”
Niles studied her for a moment before saying, “You deserve both, Eugenie. You deserve everything.”
“And so do you, Brother,” she said as she met his gaze. “The question is whether you’ll let yourself have it.”
“It isn’t that simple,” Niles responded, his tone clipped as he stared at the dying embers in the hearth.
“It can be,” Eugenie countered.
He exhaled sharply. “I have you to consider first?—”
His sister cut him off, her expression exasperated. “Not this again. I do not give a whit about Elsbeth’s reputation, and neither should you. You’re an earl, for heaven’s sake. If you marry her, Society will fall all over itself to welcome her back with open arms.”
He stiffened. “I never said anything about marriage.”
