“I know,” she replied with a teasing lilt to her voice. “Just as you’ve said nothing about love, but it’s obvious, Brother. Why is it that you are always the last to see it?”
“I care for Elsbeth,” Niles admitted reluctantly, “but I need awife with an impeccable reputation. That’s what’s best for my position.”
Eugenie rolled her eyes dramatically. “Did you get hit on the head as a child?”
He scoffed. “You don’t understand. It’s the way things have to be.” Even as he said the words, they felt inadequate. But he had to think about what was best for himself and for Eugenie.
“In the end, we all just want someone who chooses us. Over everyone else, under any circumstances. And I think Elsbeth is that person for you,” she remarked.
Her words struck a chord deep in his chest, but he couldn’t allow himself to yield. Not on this. “I daresay you’ve been reading too many fairy tales.”
Eugenie rose gracefully from her seat. “Deny it all you want, but I can see how much you care for her. Now, I’ll leave you to your brooding. Just think about what I said.”
“Goodnight, Sister,” he said stiffly.
She tipped her head. “Goodnight, Niles.” With that, she left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Niles picked up his glass and took a long sip, the warmth of the brandy doing little to ease the cold knot in his chest. What was he to do? Marrying Elsbeth would undoubtedly change everything. His standing in Society. His carefully cultivated reputation. His future. But it would also keep her safe. It was the one thing he could give her, and yet he hesitated.
A sharp knock at the window shattered his reverie. He turned his head, startled, and saw Elsbeth’s face illuminated by the pale moonlight.
Setting his glass down, he rose and crossed the room. He unlatched the window and opened it. “What in the blazes are you doing?” he asked in a low voice.
She didn’t look the least bit repentant. “I came to say goodbye. Charles insists we leave after breakfast tomorrow.”
Her words hit him like a blow to the chest. Elsbeth was leaving.Leaving him. There was so much he wanted to say, but the words tangled in his throat, heavy and unspoken.
Noticing how she pulled her wool cloak tighter around herself, he frowned. “Do come in,” he said, stepping aside.
She hesitated, her uncertainty flickering across her face. “Are you sure?”
“It’s far better than you catching cold,” he asserted.
He extended a hand to help her through the window, and she placed her gloved hand in his. Once she was inside, she stood before him, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold and her dark curls escaping beneath her hood. She looked achingly beautiful, and he felt his resolve weakening under the weight of her gaze.
Her smile melted every last defense he had so carefully constructed, confirming what he had been denying for far too long. He loved her. Completely, irrevocably. The realization settled heavily over him, yet he knew he couldn’t act on it. He couldn’t risk her future or his own responsibilities for the sake of his feelings. Letting her go was the right thing to do. It had to be.
Elsbeth met his gaze. “I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Niles,” she said. Her voice carried a vulnerability that made his heart ache.
“It was my pleasure,” he replied, his words laden with sincerity. And it was the truth. He would do it all over again if it meant he could spend even one more moment with her.
She glanced at the window. “I should go,” she murmured.
Yes.
She should go.
That was the sensible thing to do. But the thought of her leaving twisted something deep inside him. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not yet. Taking a step closer, he found himself standing so near that she had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze.
“How did Charles convince you to depart for his estate?” he asked.
She lowered her gaze, but not before he saw a sadness lurking within the depths of her eyes. “He promised he would hire a Bow Street Runner to look into my father’s death if I left with him. I do believe that is our best chance to discover the truth.”
“I think you are right,” Niles said. “However, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that coming here at this hour was foolish, especially under these circumstances.”
“I know,” she admitted, bringing her gaze up. “But I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
His heart clenched. “I’m glad you did,” he said, reaching into his waistcoat pocket. He pulled out his pocket watch and held it up between them. “I want you to have this.”
