And maybe a Pegasus will fly out of my ass to safely transport me down the trail.
I dialed Josh’s number from memory—I’d deleted it from my contacts—as stupid hopefulness mixed with the dread. Hope that he would admit he’d lied. That he’d been stealing the drugs. And if that wasn’t the case, that he had some explanation.
Some justification.
“What?” he snapped into the phone, his voice whiny with attitude and sleep.
“Hey, it’s me.”
Some of the bite left his tone. “Greer?”
I didn’t bother to ask what other woman it could be. There wasn’t even a hint of envy at the thought that he was fielding morning calls from someone else.
Since jealousy was another of my character defects, the lack of it was basically a neon sign signifying I was well and truly over Josh.
“Yeah, hey.” A shot of doubt went through me as I systematically tore apart the multitude of flaws with my plan. But since awkward silence wasn’t a better option, I had no choice but to push on. “I talked to Maddie.”
It was his turn to let silence stretch before he guardedly asked, “About?”
Telling him that she’d told me everything would be a mistake. I’d been with him long enough to know how quickly he went on the defensive when he felt attacked. He would lash out and blame everyone under the sun but himself. Or just mutter something rude and hang up.
If I had any chance of this working, I needed to play it cautiously so he didn’t feel cornered.
I kept my voice even. Soft.Sweet. “She said that you, um, might have something to tell me.”
“I don’t?—”
“Something that would fix things between us,” I interrupted, cutting off his already angry words.
“She said that?”
“Yeah. She knows how much I love you,” I lied.
Loved.
Ilovedhim.
Past tense.
“I love you, too, honey.”
Barf. I hated when he called me that. He should’ve known it, too. I’d certainly told him often enough.
I scowled but kept my opinion to myself since it didn’t matter.
“But I told her that you’re keeping something from me. There’s just all this distance between us, and it’s making everything so out of whack.” I forced a sniffle. “Is it another woman?”
“What? No.”
I was pretty sure that was the truth. Josh was a flirt, but only so women would flirt back. He liked that ego boost, but actually hooking up with someone would require effort and cut into video gaming with his bros.
I sniffled again. “Then what is it? She said that if I knew the truth, it would all be okay.”
That time, it wasn’t surprise that infused his tone. It was skepticism. “She said that?”
“She knows me,” I said. It was probably the strongest legitimacy I could give to my lie.
Josh had always joked that my friendship with Maddie and Wren was eerie. Behind the joke had been a lot of jealousy. He didn’t like how close we were. He didn’t like that they knew me better than he did.
