“In a minute. We need to deal with your situation with Cass—”
“I have no intention of having any form of a relationship with him. Ever. He was going to send me to a conversion camp because he hated the fact his son was gay. Is gay. Do you think it’ll be any different now I’m an adult? You think we can rebuild a relationship after he knew what I was doing and refused to get help for me?”
“You refused therapy as well, but he should have made you go. I tried talking to him about it so many times, but he liked to remind me I wasn’t family and had no right to say anything about how he dealt with you. Carter tried too, but it didn’t make a difference.”
“I know. I used to hear you all arguing, and I hated it and hated them. I hated myself more, but never you. I never hated you.”
TJ reached up and palmed Cody’s cheek. “Cody. I wish you’d come to me and told me what was going on. I could have helped you.”
“No, I’m glad I didn’t. What happened to me happened for a reason. I would be dead somewhere of a drug overdose or my liver would have quit. I went through hell, but I made it and I’m a better person for it. It’s given me a purpose in life to help others and it made me stronger. Strong enough to come back here for you.” Cody kissed the palm of TJ’s hand. “I am glad you’ve seen some sense, though.” He grinned, then laughed when TJ tickled him.
“I can’t believe I let you—”
“Lalalalalala I can’t hear you.” Cody yelped when TJ lunged and pushed him onto his back. “TJ!”
“I can’t believe I let you fuck me, but I’m glad I did. Give me time to get my head out of my ass. I can handle the age difference… just… it’s knowing you as a teenager and your family that I’m struggling with, but I’ll try.”
“Promise.”
“Yeah.” TJ kissed him slow and deep, and Cody moaned because it was so fucking good. “I can feel you.”
“I finally have you in bed.” Cody kissed him back, their tongues dancing erotically. “I want you to ride me.”
“I want to do something else first. Roll over.”
Cody tensed, then relaxed. He wasn’t ashamed of his back, but he’d never had someone look at them other than his family.Mama and Jed and the boys. They were his family, but so was TJ, so Cody rolled over and rested his head on his hands.
He heard TJ’s swift intake of breath and relaxed under TJ’s touch when his fingers traced one of the scars that littered his back. “Cody,” TJ whispered his name. “Some of these are… shit, Cody.”
“I’m alive. I survived.” Cody blinked his eyes rapidly when he felt TJ kiss his back. Not so much on the scar tissue, but he knew what TJ was doing. Warm hands slid over his skin and more kisses followed. “I love you.” The words were spoken so quietly, and Cody hadn’t meant to say them. They’d slipped out, and he knew TJ had heard him because he paused above him.
“Cody—”
“Don’t. You don’t get to tell me how I feel. Forget I said it. I wasn’t going to tell you yet because I knew you’d be like this.”
“That’s not fair.”
Rolling over, Cody sat up and faced TJ. “Look how you’ve been about us. You’ve pushed me away and I understand why, so I held back how I feel. I’ve told you that I came back for you. You must have realized that I felt something for you.”
“I guess I never thought about it. You came back, and I had to get used to seeing you as an adult. Then you made it clear why you’d returned, and with work and all the hours I’ve been putting in there, my head’s been all over the place. And the fact you asked me not to say anything to Carter or Cass.” TJ rubbed his forehead. “Too many C’s.”
“I know I shouldn’t have put you in that position where they’re concerned, but I don’t care about them. My family, the people I consider my family, don’t live in Robinson. Only you do.” Cody kissed TJ’s shoulder. “I wanted to come back sooner, but I wasn’t ready. I wanted to be. I was scared you’d find someone, and I’d be too late. That I would have to see you with another man.”
“How could you be so sure of how you felt about me? You were a kid.”
“It was my attraction to you that made me realize I might be gay. Did I ever tell you how bad it was when I told Cass?”
“I was there. I know he wasn’t happy, but he kinda shrugged it off, saying he’d get used to it.”
Cody snorted and kissed TJ’s shoulder again. “You weren’t there the first time.” Now that he could touch him, he did it as often as possible. Thinking back to that night had Cody tensing, but then he remembered it was in the past and he had TJ now so he knew he could tell TJ the truth. “No, he wasn’t happy. I was fourteen when I told him, and he reacted by punching me in the face.”
“What the fuck?”
Chapter Sixteen
Had he heard Cody right? Cass had punched him in the face because he was gay? When TJ had come clean to his parents, Toni had actually gone with him. She’d said it would show his parents that she was fine with it. They had taken it well. Shocked, but they’d handled it well. They hugged him and told him they loved him no matter what. He knew how lucky he was, but he’d never suspected it had been this bad for Cody.
Cody leaned his head on TJ’s shoulder, but TJ moved him away. He saw the flash of hurt on Cody’s face and shook his head. “Come here and tell me everything.”
