I need a second to organize my thoughts, so I take a long drink of water while he watches me, or studies me rather. I don’t blame him. He’s probably desperate to get a read on whatever crazy thing I’m thinking. I would be too if I were sitting across the table from me right now.
I set my glass down and start with my first question. “Do you think you could really give all of this up and live a normal life? As much as I want that, it doesn’t seem possible. I mean, I could see it working for a little while, but eventually you’ll resent me for trapping you. Over time, I think you’ll suffocate, then you’ll blame me, and in the end, you’ll hate me for taking all of this away from you.”
His look of concern is immediatelyreplaced with… something different, I don’t what exactly. “I see your point. Want to know what I really think?”
Suddenly I’m scared. What if he tells me he can’t give it up after all? Maybe I just helped him see that. What then? I swallow and brace myself for what comes next. “Yes, I want to know.”
“Maddie, the truth is, I could be happy living in Sweetbriar Hollow for the rest of my life, as long as it’s with you. I’m not a kid anymore. As I get older, my priorities are changing. The truth is, being with you has shown me there’s something better, and for the first time, I’m seeing the possibilities for new and even more exciting adventures. That’s what I want.”
New and more exciting adventures? Could he be talking about kids? I’m reminded of how he was back at the Antelope Lodge when we were showing all those kids how to make stick bread. He seemed to really enjoy that, and he talked about wanting a family of his own someday. My ovaries are begging me to take him back to the hotel right now so I can climb him like a tree. It’s not a terrible idea, but we’re not done yet.
“Okay, good answer. But what would you do? It’s not like you’d need to get a job, and there’s only so much to do in Sweetbriar.”
He chuckles at that. “Who says we’d need to stay home all the time? I mean, I’d want a home base to return to, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t travel. Come to Sri Lanka with me and ride a tuk-tuk in heavy traffic with double-decker busses and see if it isn’t the biggest thrills of your life. Or take a trip to Cognac, France, with me. I promise you won’t ever want to come home. I want to take you to Bahrain,Dubai, Nepal, Kazakhstan, Ecuador, the Amazon jungle in Peru, and so many other places, but the point is, we go together. Think about it. They’d be short vacations, maybe a week or two, then we’d come back. And when I’m home, I’d be perfectly content with doing what we did for the two weeks I was there. I was really happy then, and I think you were too.”
Well, that was a better answer than I could have hoped for. I love the idea of traveling like that. Who wouldn’t?
“Traveling sounds okay,” I say dryly, doing my best to hide my excitement at the idea. “But you’re talking short trips, and with me no less. I’m not going to be able to do the crazy things you’re used to. I think I could shoot an arrow at your ass, but it just wouldn’t be the same as when Ash does it.”
That draws a hearty laugh from him. “You mean how can I give up my adventures with my brother so easily? Fair question. It would be a big change, for sure. But here’s the thing. I’ve done these trips for one reason—because they made me happy. Now, I’ve found something that makes me more happy. It’s that simple. And before you suggest that I’ll get bored eventually, I won’t. I know what I’m giving up. I’m not taking this lightly. But I also know what I would be gaining and it’s so much better. I’ll say it again—this is what I want.”
He's saying all the right things. How could I not love this man? But that’s not my last question. I have one more and it’s a big one. “What about Ash and Elsie? Wouldn’t quitting totally dismantle their lives?”
To my question, he moves his food around on his plate with his fork as if lostin thought. After a long moment, he looks up. “The short answer? I don’t care. Am I supposed to give you up so that Elsie’s company can make a few million dollars? That may sound like a lot, but when you’re a multibillion-dollar company, it’s not. This deal with National Discovery is a tiny addition to her empire. Trust me, her company will be fine. She’ll be fine. Ash too. Maybe I’m being an asshole about this, but it’s my life and this is what I want.”
He has a point. It is hard to feel sorry for billionaires. Even without this deal with National Discovery, all three of them will still be billionaires. Besides, he’s right about this being his life, our lives. We deserve a chance to be happy, don’t we?
“Okay, I get it, and I’m not saying you’re wrong, but what about all the people who will lose their jobs when the show is shut down? They’re not rich. This could be devastating for them.”
He’s still playing with his food, just moving it around with his fork like he’s lost his appetite. Maybe he has. This is a hard conversation to have but after a minute he exhales with an exasperated sigh. “Are you trying to talk me out of this?”
Am I? I have to admit it kind of feels like I am. “Maybe. I don’t know. This is all sounding too good to be true so I need to be sure.”
Suddenly he’s glaring at me with an intensity that makes me shift in my chair. It’s hard to get a read on him, but I’m pretty sure that whatever he’s about to say is going to be his final answer. My stomach ties in knots. What if I’ve been pushing him too hard and now he’s changed his mind? What if he’s right and I’ve talked him out of quitting theshow? Why am I sabotaging this? Is he—.
“Look,” he says with a firmness I’m not used to. “I can’t control everything. If I tried, I’d go crazy and end up right back where I started, lonely and miserable. That’s how it’s been these past few weeks without you. It felt like I was underwater desperate for air, and I’d do anything to get to the surface. Try telling a drowning man that coming up for air would be bad for the hungry crabs on the bottom. He doesn’t care about them. He only cares about being able to breathe again. That’s me when it comes to you. I only care about us being together so I can breathe. Does that not make sense to you?”
I want to hug this man. Everything he just said is exactly how I’ve been feeling and knowing I’m not the only one, that this has been just as hard for him, means more to me than he’ll ever know. “Yes, it makes perfect sense. Maybe it’s incredibly selfish of me, but I don’t care either. I want this more than anything too.”
The smile in his eyes says it all—he’s relieved. “That’s settled then. What do you say we try to enjoy ourselves, starting right now?”
“I’m all in,” I tell him with a giddiness I was sure I’d never feel again. Somehow, I’ve morphed from a desperate woman who was dying inside to the happiest girl in the world. Looking into those magnificent baby blues, I’m practically a puddle now, and I can think of a few ways to show my appreciation.
It’s so nice to fall back into our old routine—talking about dumb things, laughing, and simply enjoying each other’scompany over what’s left of our dinner. That lasts for a while before the conversation shifts to what he’ll need to do now. We both agree that telling Elsie has to be at the top of the list.
“She isn’t going to like it, but after I explain everything, she’ll understand. Ash will too. We haven’t talked about it yet, but I know my brother, he’s in love with your friend. That means he probably wants this as much as I do.”
He’s right and I’m so happy for Rhonda. “After you tell Elsie, then what?”
“After I convince her this is the way it has to be, she’ll take it from there. It’s what she does—take care of things.”
“Does this mean you and Ash will be free to do whatever you want?”
“Maybe. Things like this are worked out by the lawyers. Elsie will want to avoid a lawsuit, so she’ll settle, probably soon so she can move on. There will be some bruises, but nothing we can’t handle. In the meantime—”
“Maybe we can have some fun? I’ve always wanted to visit a place like New Zealand.”
“Definitely. There’s so much I want to show you.”
