I crossed my arms and stepped back so his finger slipped away from me, and he shoved his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t help but touch me, but he had to earn that shit.
“What?”
“Did he…” The pain in his eyes made my breath catch. “Did he make you feel like I did?”
This was it, my opportunity to hurt him exactly as he’d hurt me. But as I stared into his chocolate brown eyes, the only thing I wanted to be was honest. I was tired of playing this stupid game.
“No one makes me feel like you do, Victor.” I shrugged and gave him a sad smile. “It was just sex. With you, it was always more.”
“Lila,” he choked my name out and reached for me, and I let him. His hand cupped my chin, his thumb wiping away the tears I didn’t even realise had fallen. “Baby, please forgive me.”
“You have no idea how much I want to,” I whispered, pulling his hand away and walking past him.
53
VICTOR
Shewantedto forgive me. I’d never wanted to hear something so bad in my entire
life. I’d follow her around on my knees until they were raw and bleeding if she would let me.
So, when she woke up one morning and came downstairs in a silky robe, her bump entering the room before she did, her eyes still full of sleep, I laid everything out to her.
“Can we talk?” My heart slammed in my chest like I was about to jump off a cliff and expected to die when she blinked at me.
“About?” She yawned and slid onto a kitchen stool, her hair tumbling around her shoulders. My fingers ached to touch her, but I held myself back. I couldn’t fuck this up.
“Us.”
That woke her up. She stared at me and repeated, “Us?”
Oh fuck, my nerves were shot. I was trembling.
“Yeah, Lila, us. Because, call me a fool, but I think you still love me.” I didn’t dare look at her. I couldn’t take the rejection, even though I knew it was a high possibility.
She’d divorced me, for fuck’s sake.
“So?” Lila glared at me. “What difference would that make?”
Oh, boy.
“It would meaneverything. I’ve lost you, Lila, and now I know what it’s like to live without you.” I swallowed as the lump formed in my throat. I had to be strong. She needed me to be strong. “And I really don’t want to live without you. I know I should, because of what I did…”
Lila looked at me coolly. “Go on.”
“But please, don’t make me. I was such a fucking idiot, and I’ll do anything you want to have another chance. There is probably nothing I can do, but if there is…”
“You cheated on me with a tramp.” Lila crossed her arms and arched her brow.
“Yep, you’re right.” I dragged a shaky hand through my hair and puffed out air. “She didn’t have an ounce of class, and she was nothing compared to you. But I didn’t want her to replace you. No one ever could.”
“If you think that about her, why didn’t you end it? Why were you still fucking her, Victor?”
Jesus Christ.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and dug deep, trying to give her the answer she deserved.
“Because I felt wanted. She…” I swallowed and met Lila’s icy gaze. “You didn’t want me anymore. It had been so long, and the only time we’d done anything was when you were blind drunk. I doubt you’d remember it if you weren’t pregnant.”
