I hadn’t explicitly told Jack about Suzie and I getting together while he was gone. It turned out Suzie was an openly affectionate person and since our, um, connection last month, she’d spent every moment we were together touching and kissing me, as though she needed constant reassurance. I didn’t mind. I liked it. The few times Jack walked in on us embracing in the kitchen or cuddling on the couch, he always acted like he saw nothing and never commented on it.
I glanced at my watch. It had only been a minute. I paced in front of the bay window and smiled when I spotted the tree decoration boxes stacked in the corner. We still hadn't bought a tree. We'd been so busy and the days were going too fast, but we would. I'd already imagined taking her to pick out a tree.
I’d even invite Jack to come with.
I drew the line with the Scorned Women’s Society.
The boxes on the floor reminded me of my favorite night. Well, that first night had previously held the honor, but the last few nights had tied it for first. We were taking things slow. I was enjoying the journey with her. I wanted to sleep with her. God knew I did, but the second I did, I'd have lost control. I couldn’t lose control. If I opened that door…there'd be no going back. I didn't want to feel things I had no right to feel. I didn't want to have to try and shove all that back down when she went back to her real life and forgot about me.
I pressed my hand to my chest to ease the perpetual heartburn I had lately. After tonight, I could relax. After tonight, after I knew the funding was secured, I would relax a little. I would re-focus.
“Ahem.” I turned around to the sound of Gretchen clearing her throat. “May I present Miss Suzie Samuels of Green Valley.”
I was so lost in thought I’d missed that everybody had come down. Everyone except Suzie, who stood at the top of the stairs. The room went silent. That woman could make an entrance.
I couldn’t breathe. She was a vision in winter white, fresh like the fallen snow. I’d never seen anybody look so beautiful. It was truly hard to look at. Her beauty burned too bright. Her long elegant neck was stacked with pearl strands and her midnight hair was twisted up elegantly off her neck. Intricate lace covered her neck and shoulders. The dress then transitioned into a hectic combination of lace and pearls which flowed elegantly down the curves of her body. Long white satin gloves covered her hands and arms. She smoothed her skirts and flicked glances to the people all around me.
She was breathtaking.
“This is when you speak,” Jack reminded me.
Suzie began her descent down the stairs. The delicate beading swished and clicked in an oddly satisfying cacophony with every move she made. A thousand insufficient phrases came to mind and tangled on my tongue, not one of them good enough to express how I felt. How Ifelt. Because she could come down in a potato sack and I was sure I would feel the same.
I swallowed and tried to speak. “I—you are…”
She stopped in front of me. Her eyes flicked between mine and she smiled. “You like it?”
“You are beautiful.” Painfully insufficient. Not nearly enough and yet, her face lit up with a smile.
“Oh. Thank you.”
I frowned. “You act like you’ve never heard that before.” Suzie had been told she was beautiful her whole life.
She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I’ve never heard it from you.” She blushed and fussed with her dress.
Meanwhile, I replayed our every interaction. I know I had told her she was beautiful. I thought it every time I saw her. There was no way I would have forgotten. When I finally came back into focus, Jack and Gretchen stood in similar positions, with arms crossed and shaking heads.
“I sometimes forget to say the most obvious things,” I added to the room. And then more quietly I said to her, “I’ve thought it a million times. Every time I’ve seen you.”
Her eyes lit up but her smile was shaky. “Oh, Ford.”
The group sent us off with a loud announcement from Jack that they were going to have a party while we were gone. He'd grown quite close with these ladies, insisting he’d learned more from them in a few weeks than all of undergrad.
“Use coasters.” I frowned.
Gretchen glared at me. She did not like me. I may not have social sense, but I knew well enough when I was vehemently disliked. But I wouldn’t back off on coasters.
“It’s antique wood,” I defended.
She continued to glare at me as she hugged Suzie goodbye.
A car had been sent for us. It was very chic, and Suzie's reaction to the stretch limo was almost enough to make this all worth it. I still had my doubts.
In the car, we were silent with tension. Suzie had seemed distant since she came down the stairs. She must have been nervous. I could help her. She was going through all this for me.
“Suzie.” I cleared my throat. She looked up at me with her big green eyes. “God, you’re beautiful.” Now that I had said it once, I needed to make sure I said it every time I thought it.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
