“I feel great. I’m on fire.”
I laughed because he really was. He glowed. His passion ignited him, lit him up from the inside out. If only he saw how compelling he was when that part was free, he’d never lack for funding.
“You’re doing great.”
“It’s you. You’re my lucky charm. My muse.”
The soft look in his eyes and the smile teasing his lips cut to the quick. He brought me in for a hug and I could finally let my smile drop.
“I guess people see you on my arm and they assume I must be worth something,” he whispered.
I closed myself off against his words. I fortified my insides against those little comments. Those were like the tiny rivers that made canyons. They wore me down, ripped a hole through me over time.
“Suzie, look up.”
We were under a giant bouquet of what must be actual mistletoe. I’d never seen the real stuff before. It was like the first time I realized cranberries weren’t naturally can-shaped. The bunch of mistletoe was wrapped in satin and hung a few feet above us at the crest of the archway.
“I see your ways.” I stepped up on my tip-toes, hoping to get away with a chaste kiss.
Ford pulled me firmly to his chest and kissed me with passion. I was powerless against his energy. I melted into him. I was an idiot who’d never learned, allowing myself this moment. Then I would tell him I was leaving. He would be sad in his way, but relieved too.
For now, I’d remember this. This would be the new memory that I would bring up when I needed to get away from my reality. If men got too rough or things moved too fast, I would remember this moment. Ford holding me and kissing me like I was worth something, because in this moment Iwasworth something. His hands shook as they held me close and I could tell he was barely controlling himself.
A sad ache re-emerged as I realized I’d never see him totally let go. Not for me. Maybe someday he’d meet someone who was worthy of his full passion. His hands moved down my back and he leaned back from our kiss. I was proud of myself for not getting emotional. I had a mask in place like the masquerade ball, but this time it was all me.
His hand rested on my neck, his thumb grazing over the skin there, bringing happier memories to the surface. I would think of those moments too when the darkness threatened.
“You’re so beautiful.”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear off my dress. I didn't want to be beautiful anymore. It meant the world to me when he finally said it but now it was a new barrier. I wanted to be more than that. I wanted to be everything to him.
“She is indeed.” A large man approached that I recognized instantly as one of my regulars.
Titty Teddy approached and my insides went icy. Ford’s smile grew when he saw the other man. The world slowly tilted around me. Something was registering but hadn’t clicked into place. Dread settled in.
They’d been speaking that night…
Ted’s gaze took me in and he shook his head with amusement. “Well, well, well. Look at you.” He grabbed my hand and gave my glove a gentle kiss. “Transformed indeed.”
“Thank you, Mr. Bouffant. Thank you for having us,” Ford said.
I was speechless, knowing I should say something.
The party hummed loudly a thousand miles away. I felt Ford look at me. I couldn’t look at him. I was sure my face gave me away.
“Of course.” Ted’s gaze moved over me again in an appraising way.
“Teddy,” I whispered. “This is your party?” I asked louder.
“Indeed, it is. Welcome to my home. That’s my wife over there. Normally, I’d ask you to steer clear but since I’ve heard from many of my peers that they were quite impressed with you, I’m not worried about her guessing how we know each other.”
Anger firmed the frown on Ford. He studied me, his concern deepening. I couldn’t hold his gaze.
“You two know each other?” Ford asked.
“Yes.” My voice was too quiet. “Teddy’s a G-Spot regular.”
His brow was so creased with concern but I couldn’t smooth it out. Another thought clicked into place and ice shot through me. My feet were cemented but my body floated away.
