“Suzie,” Ford said in a deep warning voice.
“Ford,” I copied with a frown.
“This is my life’s work. Try to take it a little seriously.”
I felt a little ashamed. I knew how it felt to have people look down on the things that made me happy. People like him, actually. But I’d be better than that. I would show that I understood. So I corrected my posture. “Okay, I’m real sorry.”
He looked at me like I still might be yanking his chain so I made my face serious. I held out my hand, palm down and limp, like I’d seen in movies toward Jack. “How nice to meet you Mr.…ah, what’s your last name?”
“Jones,” he provided.
“Jack Jones?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Suzie Samuels,” he said with a smirk. “Maybe we were meant to be Marvel characters.”
“I’ll have to take your word on that one. Well, Mr. Jones, it’s so lovely to meet you this fine autumn day. Please, tell me more about your line of work.”
I tilted my head to the side sweetly and listened intently. Jack looked to Ford, who nodded with approval.
“How’d you do that?”
“What?” I turned to answer Ford’s question.
“Your accent is gone. How did you do that?”
I thought for a moment. I hadn’t done anything. I just thought about how I wanted to sound and did it. “I don’t live in a swamp. I know how Yankees sound. Believe it or not, we have those fancy moving pictures in Green Valley.”
Jack laughed and Ford narrowed his eyes. “You did the deep south accent as well. How’d you do that?”
I shrugged. “I dunno.”
“Don’t slur your words. ‘I don’t know.’”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, he had to criticize me.
“What other accents can you do?” Jack asked after he swallowed another spoonful.
“I don’t know,” I emphasized slowly while throwing shade at Ford.
“Try a British accent.”
Ford sat back and crossed his arms.
“‘Ello, gov’ner,” I said, then added, “Please, sir, can I ‘ave some more.”
Jack cackled with laughter and I found I really liked to make people laugh when it was on purpose.
I kept going. “How’s about you give me a lift in ye carriage, back to yer fine establishment.” I didn’t remember what movie I quoted, if it was a movie at all, but they seemed to like it.
“Okay, now less cockney, more posh.” I musta made a face because Jack added, “Like Prince William and Harry.”
“Oh shoot, shoulda just said that.” I cleared my throat and thought for a second, replaying the interview where Harry had talked about Meghan Markle and it was so flipping adorable. “Good sir, you cannot possibly expect me to…” I struggled for a word and thought of the conversation with Ford a while back. I placed my fingertips to my chest, and spoke, making it up as I went, “I’m interested in focusing on manipulating her ingrained idiosyncrasies to prove my theories about inherent biases in our culture.”
Ford had said something along those lines at some point. He wasn’t British but he did talk like he had a stick stuck up his—
“Bravo.” Jack clapped.
I stuck my tongue out at Ford. He blinked at me, a little crease between his eyebrows and his mouth partially open. Take that, sucka.
