“Oh, yeah. A bunch. It’s a historic neighborhood so parents like to take their kids to get a lot of pictures. And a lot of the people around us are doctors and lawyers too, so you know what that means.”
“Big candy bars.”
They laughed. I never went out on Halloween as a kid; it hadn’t really been a safe neighborhood. I guess I sighed loudly because they both turned to me.
“Sorry, Ford. You wanted to show me something?”
Familiar embarrassment crept up. This was a stupid idea. I would never fit with these two. I would never belong. I was always out of place, even when I tried so hard to contain myself to fit in.
“It’s nothing,” I mumbled. I sounded petulant but exhaustion from the perpetual tension caused by my presence ruled me.
“I have to go up and change.” Jack sprinted up the whole staircase in three steps leaving us alone.
“Come on, Eeyore, just show me.”
She grabbed my hand and headed to the basement. The ceiling was lower and perfect for my purposes. Suzie beat me down the steps and gasped.
It occurred to me, belatedly, that my gift may have been considered insulting. She’d been cooped up and I wanted to give her an outlet for her excessive energy. She had mentioned she enjoyed choreography too, but now I saw how it could be misconstrued.
“You got me a pole?” Her hands clasped the back of her neck as she looked at me through long lashes.
I scratched at my beard and said, “I had it installed. I upgraded the sound system too. So that you could sync your phone and play whatever you wanted.” I stepped down the last step and went to the pole. I grabbed it and shook it hard. “It’s bolted to the studs in the ceiling and the cement flooring. Plenty sturdy. It’s not exactly allowed with the historic homes, but I thought you might like to practice. Since you’re not working.”
She was silent, looking at me with a little frown. Yup. I’d insulted her.
“When I ordered it, they suggested these mats.” I pointed to a stack in the corner. “I guess in case you fall. And with the cement floor, I thought that was probably a good idea. Safety and all that.”
Why was she so quiet? Suzie was never quiet.
Ever since she moved in, she stomped around the house or sang loudly in the shower or shook the chandelier when she danced. It was never peaceful with her here. I couldn’t remember what it sounded like with just Jack and me.
“Look. If I insulted you—I was trying to make amends for…I can’t seem to say—”
“It’s perfect.” She cut me off by smiling at me. A big smile. A genuine smile.
Her eyes gleamed, and it was like a balloon popped in my chest making room for air again. She stalked toward me. I tensed and lifted my arms into the air, unsure of what to do. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around my middle and lowered her head to my chest. She squeezed me tight.
“Thank you, Ford.”
I relaxed and curled my arms around her back. We hugged. Simple, but wonderful. I had forgotten how nice it was to be held. She smelled so good. Her soft curves were in perfect counterpoint with all my awkward angles. I lowered my face to her hair and inhaled quietly.
“Holy shit. The Historic Homes Foundation is not going to like this.” Jack’s voice came from the stairs.
Suzie stepped back and I swore she wiped a tear away. “Ford got me a pole to practice on!”
I scratched the back of my head, and put more distance between Suzie and me.
Jack nodded while a grin grew. “I see that.” He snuck me a thumbs up as Suzie moved to examine the pole.
She threw herself around it, picking up speed as she went, defying the laws of physics. Jack and I shared a glance, our eyes wide. She’d just hopped up there like it was no effort at all.
“This is perfect.” She twisted until she was upside down and gripping the pole with one leg, arms spread wide.
“Wait. Try this.” I went to the sound system and selected a cello sonata. I assumed it wasn't her typical selection, but when this track played on my way back from Green Valley, my mind had pictured Suzie twirling gracefully around a pole. I used the dimmer to lower the lights, highlighting the makeshift stage.
Suzie held my gaze for a long moment before closing her eyes and absorbing the music. The strings moved in like a thunderstorm on the horizon. Her movements started; graceful, slow, but with an underlying tension that spoke of things to come. I backed into the couch and Jack fell in next to me. The cello grew prominent over the soft repetitive piano. She completed a slow twirl around the pole, one arm gripping above her head. Seamlessly she was off the floor, again defying gravity.
As the music crescendoed, so did her movements. Her acrobatics predicted the rise and fall of the piece. Her soul absorbed it and her body played it out through her muscles, each tragic note emphasized by her interpretation. My heart expanded in my chest. Infinity loomed before us, drawing forth futility at the same time. Her face creased with an edge of desperate emotional pain, and still, she spun.
