I went on, “You say I don’t think before I speak, but trust me—every single part of that exchange was controlled, by me.” I smacked my chest hard. I was so worked up I could shake him.
“I don’t understand what just happened. Who’s Razor?”
“Razor is the head of the Iron Wraiths. It’s a long story, but the short of it is that I’m loyal to Occum. Occum protects me from those assholes and Razor. Razor is a very, very bad man that I do not want to cross.” Again.
“Why are those guys talking to you at all?”
“I’m not sure.” Maybe they were sent by Razor to remind me I’m still in his debt. Maybe they just happened to be there and wanted to fuck with me after what happened at the G-Spot with Ka-Bar the other night. I didn’t think it was a coincidence that they showed up though.
“If I see them again, I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold my tongue.” Ford’s voice was low with anger I’d never heard.
I prayed that never happened because bless Ford’s heart. He was a professor that hung around people with silver spoons shoved where the sun don’t shine. He was out of touch. Those guys would kill him. I couldn’t think about that.
The steering wheel creaked more. He released it to start the car. He turned on the defrosters to clear the windows fogged with our anger. After they cleared, he drove slow and controlled out of the parking lot and headed back home. To his house.
After a while, he said, “I don’t understand why you hang around with bikers.”
I chewed on my lip. How did I explain that they cared for me in their own way? They weren’t all bad. Some, like Ka-Bar, looked out for us girls. The Black Demons took me in and protected me when I had nothing and was in deep trouble. It was a long story and there were some things I had to do in exchange for their protection, but that was just my lot in life. It is what it is.
“Have you already forgotten? I’m a stripper and a biker bitch. Just because you want people to see me differently doesn’t change who I am.”
We pulled into a free spot on the street in front of the house. I opened the car door and jumped out before he even put it in park. I ran into the house and didn’t stop until I reached my room. I threw my wet coat onto the floor and remembered the clothes forgotten in the car—the clothes that would never change me. I squeezed my fists into my eyes before remembering my makeup. I stared in the mirror. A sad little girl, playing at being adult, looked back. Things would never change. I needed to remember who I was and what life waited for me.
Chapter 14
Clifford
Acouple of weeks passed. I managed to avoid Suzie for the most part. She had been progressing smoothly in her training without me. I gave her books she pretended to read and told her that with midterms and tests, I didn't have any extra time for her transformation. If we saw each other in the hall, we exchanged stilted hellos.
But despite all the excuses, the truth was I hated how I felt around her. Well, not true. I wanted to be around her all the time because I loved how it felt to be the focus of her attention. I loved watching her try to coerce a laugh out of me. I liked the way she moved with clunky confidence, but I also liked showing her new things. She adapted quickly and with minimal pushback. I regretted my actions on the shopping trip. I had wanted to comfort her. I wanted to take her away from all the madness of her normal life. Herreallife. But the words had come out all wrong. I accused her of letting people take advantage of her. I acted like I knew better. How was I any different from the other men in her life who pushed her around?
My concerns formed as accusations. Who was I to insist that she change? I knew it could make a difference. People’s response to her could change. I hated how complicated it was getting.
“Suzie, are you up there?” I called up the stairs. It was the Sunday night before Halloween and fall break had begun. Midterms were over and while I had a lot of work to do, tonight I would work on my relationship with Suzie. I needed to repair some of the strain between us. She’d been gone all day, allowing me to install my surprise.
“Yeah?” She poked her head out of her room. Her hair was high in a knot on her head. She blinked at me.
“Are you busy?”
“No. Just dancing.” Her face was lit up from exertion and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She stepped out of her room and closed the door dressed in workout gear.
“Perfect. Can you come down? I want to show you something in the basement.”
“Sure. That doesn’t sound ominous at all.” She skipped down the stairs smoothly.
Ominous? Good word. Maybe she was reading those books. She smelled deliciously of her own sweet scent as she passed. I cleared my throat.
Jack walked in the front door at the exact moment we stood there. “What’s going on?”
“Ford wants to show me something in the basement.” She wiggled her eyebrows and he smiled.
“Close the door. You’re letting a draft in,” I said sharply to Jack.
He did so before shrugging out of his coat and knit cap. “Getting chilly out there. The trick or treaters are going to be cold this year.”
Suzie bounced up and down in her neon sports bra. It was…distracting.
“You guys get trick or treaters?” Her hands were clasped and eyes lit with excitement.
