The air was chillier with the wind whipping at us. The sweat from the climb dampened my hair and sent chills through me.
Ford frowned. “You’re cold.”
“I’m okay. It’s beautiful here.”
We surveyed the changing leaves below us. A massive valley exploding in fireworks of red, oranges, and yellow and decorated with pops of green pine lay below. A thick river wound its way through it all. I felt small in comparison.
“I can never get enough of this view.”
I turned back toward his voice. His expression, usually so stern, had softened. There was something about being close to Ford that I didn’t feel when I was around other men. Other men, they were just bodies or sometimes more like different animals. When Ford was this close, I was more aware of every touch. Almost to the point of fixation. Like now. If he would just take a few steps closer, our hands would brush.
Ford had a way of treating me with his own particular brand of sour, but at least it was as an equal. If he didn’t stop looking so sweet and treating me so well and talking to me like an actual person, I was bound to do something stupid. It’d been a while since I had done something stupid.
I'd changed lately. The thought of getting the VIP stage held less allure. I wanted out of my house and I wanted to live on my own but had no idea how I could do either without hurting Daddy and with no money. I hadn’t allowed too much thought about it. I couldn’t. The attack by the Iron Wraith guys really shook me. I was used to guys getting rough. Something about being all dressed up and feeling so good about myself and looking classy had made me feel untouchable to the scum. Yet it hadn’t mattered. One look at me and they treated me the same. It wouldn’t matter how I changed on the outside. I would always be Suzie Samuels. Short Fuse. Best to get through this without feeling too much more.
“Now I’m the one who smells burning.” Ford’s voice broke me from my thoughts.
“Just woolgathering.” I smiled to see he had stepped closer to me.
He cleared his throat and inched closer yet. “You can have my coat if you want.”
“I don’t want your coat, Ford.” I was sad and wallowing in self-pity. It made me reckless.
His frown was back. I couldn’t help but huff a little laugh.
I stepped slightly in front of him so that his heat warmed my back. I couldn’t face him for the silly thing I was about to say.
“I don’t want your coat because I want you to hold me.”
The heat coming off his body took my chills away but I still shivered. My knees felt weak and I licked my lips.
He cleared his throat again and I waited for his rejection. My heart skipped a beat when his arms came around me, wrapping me up from behind. I leaned back and rested against his chest. He was a few inches taller than me and we fit just right. I melted into him. It was the most comfortable place I'd ever been, like staying in bed on a winter morning.
“I have to tell you something.” He squeezed me tighter and took a deep breath that made the little hairs at my neck stir.
At his words, I prepared myself. Things hadn’t been going too well with his attempts to change me. I knew I wasn’t what he expected. I wasn’t trainable like he’d thought.
I said, “Okay,” in a small voice.
“I’m having conflicting feelings.”
“About?”
He had to feel how my racing heart shook my whole body.
“This experiment. It’s not going according to the plans. I don’t know what we’re doing anymore.” As he spoke his deep voice rumbled down my back and I felt it everywhere.
I closed my eyes. “Am I disappointing you?” I hadn’t meant to say it. I especially didn’t want to sound so damn pathetic but the words just slipped out. I kept trying—in my own way—to make him happy, but time and time again I messed up. Or maybe I didn't mess up, but I certainly wasn’t progressing quickly enough.
“I—what? No. Suzie, No.” He took a deep breath and I knew he was trying to find his words. “My dean came by today. She was checking that I was doing everything to maintain funding. But I’m having doubts.”
My heart raced faster. This was it. He was kicking me out. I knew it. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t go back to my old life in Green Valley. Not yet.
“Are you kicking me out?”
“Do you want to leave?”
“No.”
