As he spoke the intense pressure that had been building all day began to melt away. There were no choices to be made. It had always been Roddy. He was back in my life for a reason.
“I see such big things for you. You’re so beautiful and talented. I’m so incredibly proud to know you.”
I flushed. “Thank you.”
Roddy was safety. Devlin stirred up dark part of my soul and had me questioning myself. I couldn’t trust my own judgment around Devlin and facts were facts. Roddy was here. Roddy straight up told me he wanted what’s best for me.
“I just worry about the pressure Devlin is putting on you,” he said. I must have had my thoughts clearly written all over my face. “Just because you inspire him, doesn’t mean his work should come at cost to you.”
“He thinks I’m talented.”
“Of course you are. I have no doubt of that. You could do anything. That’s one of the things I have always appreciated about you. I just want to make sure that working with him is what you want. That you weren’t pressured into it. He may see you as a muse, but I know you’re more than that.”
“I don’t think I’m his muse.” But hadn’t Devlin confessed something similar? Hadn’t he said that he needed me to help him finish his composition?
“The fact is you’re beautiful. I’m not saying there’s any reason other than your talent, but there’s talk around the SOOK, I’m sorry to say. People are questioning why he chose you for the solo. Obviously, I’ve told them it’s because you’re the most gifted.”
“No, I’m not—”
“But there is talk, you know. Because he’s a conductor. He wants you for something more.”
“It’s not like that.” I hated that we were even having this discussion. It was making me angry for reasons I couldn’t define in that moment. Something I would have to unpack later. I should be flattered, right? People thought I was beautiful. But it didn’t feel like flattery.
I pushed the thoughts away.
“Let’s not talk about work anymore,” I said.
“Good idea. Let’s have some wine to toast our new venture.” He poured from a bottle he got for the table. I hadn’t had any.
“What new venture?” I wouldn’t drink, but I took the glass to not push the issue.
“You’re amazing, Yo-Yo, and more important than that, you’re gorgeous. I’m going to represent you.”
“Represent me?” I managed to ask as I gripped the chair to keep from spinning.
“Yes. You need to go solo. You’re bigger than this place.”
“How so?”
“Touring. Albums. You have the look. You’re sort of ethnically ambiguous but still gorgeous. You’ll be huge. Just imagine being on stage.” He held up his thumb and pointer finger from both hands to create a box around me he looked through. “Your hair down would be amazing—maybe streaks of wild colors, add some curl and volume. Your clothes could be updated, maybe some short skirts, hate to say it, but that’s what sells. You could even get one of those chic electric cellos. I have ideas.”
“Wow. Yes, you do.”
I blinked and the world spun. I couldn’t wear a skirt with a cello. I literally spread my legs and straddled wood. I didn’t like the sound of an electric cello, not for my style. And I couldn’t play with my hair down; it gets caught in the fingerboard and tugs.
He’d clearly put thought into this and he was so excited, but this was all a lot and very fast. Why was it so easy for me to share my feelings with Devlin, while I worried about offending Roddy? “Maybe we can talk about it more later?” I settled on. Maybe I could talk things through with the SWS.
“Let me tell you what I’m thinking for your solo tour.” He pulled out his phone and pulled up a map to show me.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a tour.”
“When you’re ready. But I’ve already talked to several concert hall managers. My parents have big connections, you know. I say we start there. Stops all around the southeast. Then we start promoting you on social media as we go. You could be huge on YouTube and Instagram. Really sell your image.”
“Wow. This is a lot. I need to think about it,” I said firmly.
“Of course, of course.” He put his phone back in his pocket. “I will take care of you, Yo-Yo, forever. Let me take care of everything.”
“That sounds nice.” And it did.
