* * *
Charlie
“This is breathtaking,”Kate said.
She stood on the balcony off the bedroom, taking in the bright lights of the city. R&B softly played over the surround speakers. The pool shimmered below, glowing blue in the darkness.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Her figure in that emerald-green dress had driven me wild all night. The deep tease of cleavage, the way it flowed over her voluptuous backside. A gentle wind blew her skirt, teasing a hint of upper thigh that my hand had caressed not long ago.
She glanced to me, finding me staring openly at her and not the view. She flushed and tucked her chin. Seemed the naughty vixen from the club had gone back into her shell. She smiled and turned back to the view, rubbing her palms up and down her arms.
I went to stand behind her and held on to the bar of the balcony, engulfing her in my natural heat. She shuddered lightly in the warmth.
“You looked beautiful tonight. You look beautiful all the time,” I said, dropping a kiss on her neck. “I said that to you in an email I never sent.”
She turned in my embrace and stepped up on tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck. “Really? How many of these emails have you not sent? I’d like to see them if they’re all that complimentary.”
“I bet you would.” It was another avoidance, another misstep of not answering. I hated it the second I said it.
Her smile fell as a tiny furrow formed between her brows.
“I feel like …” she started and then shook her head, stopping.
“Talk to me, Kate.” I smoothed that furrow before fixing her fringe back in place. She’d seemed distant since we came upstairs. Maybe she felt pressured after our foreplay in the club. Maybe she was tired of me never giving her a bloody straight answer?
She let out a breath. “I’m just feeling so many things. Thrilled to be here. In shock that it’s happening. Afraid for it to be over.” She licked her lips and looked up at me hesitantly. “In some ways I feel like I know you intimately. But in other ways, you’re a stranger to me. It’s giving me whiplash a little.”
I rubbed up and down her arms as she spoke. This sweet, complicated woman was supremely out of her element yet had rolled with all the punches. She’d been patient and kind and understanding with me despite all that I’d hidden from her. There was so much I still wanted to share with her, but the ticking clock of our time together was louder than my heartbeat.
“Kate. I know I’ve held back. But I want …so much. Too much.” I kissed her deeply. She kissed me back, soft and pliant, melting against me. Kate. My Kate, here in my arms. God, I hadn’t realized just how bad I wanted this until it was happening. I hadn’t even let myself hope this big.
If, in the past, I had used alcohol to numb myself from feeling, then being with Kate was the total opposite. She helped me feel everything. I forgot that living could be like this. I forgot that so many sounds and touches and smells could light me up and make me feel alive. So many years numbing myself. So many years living to avoid any feelings. Kate came into my life and my world exploded with passion and emotion and hope.
I broke the kiss just to look at her. To check that she was real. Watching Emma struggle with her feelings with Wesley tonight was another reminder to be thankful for what I had here and now.
She frowned in worry, and I feared my features were a little too intense.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Everything I said at the club is true. I-I’ve thought about you for so long. I dreamed about us for years.” My voice caught as I spoke.
“Why didn’t you tell me who you were sooner?” She lightly rubbed the back of my head.
I had changed over the last two years getting to know her. The complications of my fears didn’t matter as much as the truth of her in my arms. It all boiled down to one thing.
“Scared,” I said.
“I am too,” she breathed.
It hardly seemed possible. Before I even knew her, she was bold and brave. She came to LA with no experience and absolutely excelled.
“You make me brave,” I said. I put my hands on her full bottom and lifted her. I loved how the satin of her dress felt over the perfect roundness in my grip. She squealed and wrapped her legs around my waist.
“I do?”
“You’re incredible.” I carried her to the nearby bar top, resting there, so we were face-to-face.
“I don’t feel that way. I feel very ordinary. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go back to my simple life after this. Being published has been my dream for so long and now it feels closer than ever.” She rubbed her thumbs into my shoulders, looking up at me tentatively. “And being here with you is more amazing than I ever let myself imagine.”
